I want to be a shota who wandered a bit too deep into the woods and got caught by a trapdoor spider girl.
I want to be "eaten" and ravaged in a dark tunnel until I completely lose any notion of how much time has passed while I'm down there.
I want to feel a glimmer of hope after hearing a search party with multiple people and hounds outside calling for my name. I want to see the spider girl pull me into a tight embrace, covering my nose and mouth from making any noise while she looks upward, a look of genuine concern on a face that until now almost always had a sadistic glee to it.
I want to feel despair slowly creep in again as the shouts and barks from the search party start getting further and further away.
I want to see the spider girl's toothy grin as she looks back down on my crying face, as I realize there's a real chance I might never see the sun again.