>>129512 Asshole. Motherfucker. Piece of shit. Bastard. Plenty of options to choose from. Maybe blackguard could make a comeback?

>>129497 Don't be such a baby. Hats grow back.

>>129520 Mad Hatter giving you a hat to tell everyone you are hers

>>129520 >Don't be such a baby. Dicks grow back. Said the chesh, after detaching anon's penis to use as her personal portable dildo (also with quantum sensory link back to anon)

>>129517 Her test subject (husband) has made several nonsensical requests from her during this round of testing, just look at how she's ugh, dressed. The worst part is that his biomonitors show that the changes have been effective. Very effective, even.

>>129521 You will match hats.

>>129516 Riddle me this, riddle me that, how to pet without rape?

Mad hatter but instead of a top hat, it's a wide-brimmed hat like the one Lady Dimitrescu has.

Mad hatter but it's a fez

>>129526 What if Mad Hatter but she's wearing one of those Oddjob hats that you throw and there's razorblades in it and she cuts your suspenders and your pants fall down in public

>>129522 >I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again. >This happens all the time, it's detachable.

She reaches into her hat like a magician and pulls out the Wincheshter.

>>129527 Mad Hatter but it is a heavily sedated house cat

>>129531 That's not very mushroom of you.

>>129530 Do Wincheshter-made firearms teleport the bullets directly from your stash/ammo pouch directly into the magazine/chamber?

>>129526 Consider also: bonnets and ten gallon cowboy hats

>>129533 I won't be defeated by some shitty Lilim brat

>>129536 Spoiler, it's a demon. Spoiler, yes you will.

>>129537 Oh right the horns, they are all just blowjob handles for me so I didn't see it at first

We need more bratdom.

>>129533 I won't lose to a level 1 Demon brat. Yes I will still fuck her after winning.

>Get approached by homeless brat on streets >Take her home >Clean her up >Feed her >Fill out appropriate paperwork to legally adopt her >Never dick her >Find an adult monster mommy for her instead And that was how Anon acquired a daughter without changing a single diaper.

>>129542 But she's a mamono, she'll fall in love almost right away after that kindness. What about getting seduced by the sex demon you've adopted? What about making her your wife like she's wanted from the beginning? Oh the humanity, won't someone think of the children?

>>129542 Mamono wouldn't abandon their children, so an "abandoned child" is either putting on an act to get a husband or is thousands of years old and somehow still hasn't gotten her shit together. Either way you're getting raped.

>>129547 I did consider that. I wonder if mommy and daddy having an accident (to reincarnate elsewhere) would violate the "no bad endings" rule so long as the daughter is cared for eventually and all ends well. It could work, couldn't it?

>>129547 The child could get lost or separated somehow. Or dumb loli monsters going on an adventure and realizing they don't know how to get back their home town or something.

>>129542 How to have sex with both mother and daughter. MGE style.

>>129552 There are easier ways you know.

>>129553 No thanks.

Moths

>>129547 a lot of mamano children don't need much oversight. like a wurm is pretty much fire and forget; they'll be fine but also i don't like that, i want to be a present parent. it conflicts me

>>129539 it's tough being an oji-san

>>129556 >it conflicts me Why? Nothing's making (you) send your children off into the wilds. Even for weird exceptions like cursed swords and parasite slimes you have options. Don't focus on the bad parts of the setting, just let those be and think about how pleasant it would be to live your fantasy your way.

What's the easiest way to piss your favorite monster off?

>>129556 then be a present parent. If that's what you want, so it'll be. That's how mge works

>>129559 "i think we've got enough kids, lets use contraceptives"

>>129561 and then a bit later cheshy goes <magical contraceptives? nyahahah! I can't believe you fell for that!

>>129559 <Hayyy'yoooo- <"Honey, what did you say?" <Hayyy'yaaaa- <"Darling, what is it?!" <Hayyy'sss-salt fight! >"NYOOOOO!!!"

I am going to play ticket to ride and fuck over a monster girl by blocking her route. Probably an Anubis. Maybe another monster that likes board games. Not cats. Cats flip board games. A lich or a Cupid perhaps.

I'm going to offer a ticket to ride to the first monster girl who gives me any attention.

>>129558 >sending your children off into the wilds >MGE works on the Pokemon world's logic

>>129567 Okay, that actually makes a lot of sense.

>>129567 if anyone needs me i'll be in the tall grass

Right now I feel like I'm so retarded that a Wurm would immediately notice I'm dumber than her and the only reason she wouldn't bully me about it is because she's not mean.

Call me Romulus or Remus because I'm craving some big fat wolf titties

>>129571 Amazing how a pair of titties in the right place, at the right moment gave birth to the peak of western civilization

Hello. Don't let pigs cum inside your urethra. Not only they fill up your bladder with cum quick, they secrete gel like substance at the end of ejaculation to prevent semen from leaking out, which effectively seals up your way to pee for days. A visit to ER is almost guaranteed.