>>130217 I keep telling you that Miss Lich is not cool, she's KUU.

Has miss Whitehorn calmed down yet? Is it safe to go outside?

>>130220 Not mutually exclusive.

chimeric hugs

>>130223 If you get hugged by 4 arms, nothing less will ever be enough.

>>130224 wait until you hear about ms kraken

Even after the portals opened you're still a Forever DM, and a few of the mamono you've recently met have gotten really interested in these tabletop roleplaying games that Earth humans like to play. What are your different players like? Anubis: The ultimate rules lawyer; has read every book from cover to cover, memorized it, and will spout rule after rule whenever she feels that the game is being played wrong; would be DM herself, but everyone would have quit. Alp: Character is her anime OC who she created using a half dozen obscure sourcebooks, really wants the next arc to be set in not-Japan. Banshee: Played once, didn't like it, decided to join the World of Darkness table using the same space Cheshire: The worst example of Chaotic Stupid you've ever seen; if it wasn't for the fact that she's genuinely funny while doing it, you would have kicked her ass out a long time ago. Dark Mage: Eats all the snacks and never pitches in, and you're pretty sure she's enchanted her dice to give her all high rolls Demon: Plays a goody two shoes paladin, ironically enough. Dhampir: Her character is basically a self-insert; gets bored easily, wants non-stop action scenes and climatic swordfights atop burning castles. Lich: Plays the single best damn wizard you've ever seen, surprise surprise. Phantom: Insists on dressing as her character and being in-character at all times; she scared the shit out of you when she pulled out that demon silver knife and waved it around Pharaoh: Brought a max-level and ludicrously overpowered character to the table, seemed to be genuinely confused at the idea of deliberately playing a weak character Wight: Plays bard, loves to try and seduce any remotely attractive NPCs she comes across Valkyrie: Wanted to play at first, but walked away because dice rolling was involved and thus it's gambling.

>>130226 That's a dozen PCs, Anon. You're forever DM because your first session will never end.

>>130226 Kikimora: Only plays shockingly violent femme fatales and seems to take visible erotic pleasure in describing killing blows

>wurms have a fundamental misunderstanding about what it means to "pick up a guy" >think that being able to pick up a guy means you get to marry him >being freakishly strong this means that they can have any unmarried man they want

ppppandas

>>130221 It’s a Friday night and Ms. Whitehorn is on her second bottle of wine, nowhere is sage from her cuddly, drunken rampage

>>130234 Safe*, but I’m too lazy to delete and repost to fix it

>>130226 Hellhound: only got involved because she wanted to bully the cute nerds, but eventually got super into the game herself. Will cast "Lay on Hands" on you every session.

>>130234 >walking home at dusk >hear whitehorns bugling in the distance >start walking faster

>>130234 Jokes on her, I'm already passed out drunk in the snow

>>130233 "Panda diplomacy" is a term for mist continent's policy of sending Ren Xiongmao agents to marry western men to steal their countries secrets. Whether it's latest tech blueprints or logins to a local company's helpdesk panel, it's all part of the grand plan.

>>130241 True, all mist monsters are untrustworthy, will betray you and don't really love you.

>>130242 >and don't really love you. Untrue, husband completely falls for the panda pussy and ends up becoming a willing agent for the mist continent to help bring more of such happiness to his country.

>>130241 https://grrrgraphics.com/bang-bang-with-fang-fang/

>>130234 oh don't worry, just barricade your doors and wait for papawendi to haul her back home

>>130245 Mist continent Lamias...

>>130239 >Bugling intensifies >And gets closer >Anon breaks into a run

>>130249 >the wind howls as anon gasps for air >the snow is too high >it's like wading through thigh-high water >it's like running in slow motion in your nightmares >the next street light is broken >the light from the one after that is so far

>>130250 >>130249 All of this could've been avoided if the sidewalks had been properly shovelled. Better call Mr. Plow

>>130231 Is it really a misunderstanding if it works?

>>130252 Higher chances of cardiac arrest, especially with miner anons

>>130254 I think miner anons would see wurm tunnels and just be IMPRESSED. That's not scary or something that causes a heart attack.

Today I will simply imagine a monster girl who cuddles with me.

>>130256 Are you going to do that for the rest of the day?

I'm sorry Auntie, but i have to work on Saturdays...

>>130259 A [childhood marriage] promise!

>>130259 A promise. TAUR KOT = SEXO

>>130260 >>130261 >"Many have heard me, but no one has seen me, and I will not speak back until spoken to. What am I?"

>>130262 Echo (Echo)

>>130263 People have seen dolphins, Anon.

>>130264 Ecco =/= Echo

>>130263 >"The maker does not use it, the buyer does not need it, and the owner uses it without knowing. What am I?

>>130262 yo momma

>>130266 A coffin vampres do use it knowingly

Saturday morning, waking up next to your naked auntster after a night of healing and stress release, but it doesn't have to be over yet, you have the whole weekend to keep playing pretend lovers and enjoy each other's company without limits

>>130268 >"I am the wound that never heals, yet heals all wounds. What am I"

>>130270 VAGINA

>>130271 *confused Sphinx noises*

>>130270 I mean, time heals all wounds, but a clock is wound, not time itself?

>>130272 Oh noes! Do you require brushy-brushy time and careful, thorough preening by HUMAN HANDS?

>>130274 >"...'tis..... not the answer I was looking for. And yet.... I find I cannot dismiss it entirely." >>130273 >"I fly without wings and cry without eyes. What am I?"

My turn: What have I got in my pocket?

>>130269 Wait until she notices my morning wood

>>130275 I actually don't know this one. Uhh. The wind?

>>130278 >

>>130278 I'd guess cloud.

>>130279 Rats >>130280 You must carry on without me

>>130279 See, this makes me think you DO need preening by delicate human hands.

>>130282 Sphinx-chan got her claws stuck in the carpet and is too haughty to ask for held disentangling them

>>130280 >"I guard your words when you are gone, I keep your thoughts where they belong. I hold your secrets, dreams, and schemes, and store them safe within my seams. What am I?"

>>130284 a bogey

>>130284 Memory?

>>130284 A diary!

>>130285 omg omg omg omg omg I would SO do that. Also, finally some appropriately-sized ladies, amirite?

>>130289 >"I grow when I am fed yet die when I drink. A puzzling thing when you stop and think. Orange and gold, I shimmer and shine. I feed on branches, wood, and pine. What am I?"

>>130291 FIRE

>>130292 NEED Later, knead

>>130293 which is silly since they drink alcohol pretty good

>>130295 And guzzle gasoline

>>130293 >"In youth I am sharp, in age I am wise. I whisper of joy, of love, and of lies. I glisten in goblets, I flow without end, Both healer and traitor, both poison and friend. What am I?"

>>130297 Wine?

lot of anons getting turned into scratching posts today

>>130300 see that's why when I stumble into a ruin and encounter a sphinx I apologise profusely, explain I was merely looking for shelter and leave before she can get a word in

>>130300 Two things: 1. KOT 2. KOT TIDDIES

>>130300 I really would hate being a kot toy. Yep. It's a good thing kots have no sixth sense for submissive anons.

>>130299 >"I can be stolen or freely given, I speak the words that hearts have written. I vanish quick, yet linger still, I turn the calmest hearts to thrill. What am I?"

>>130304 Affection?

>>130305 >"...'tis not."

>>130297 the demon lord's milk

>>130304 >>130306 No IA here please.

>>130308 >No IA Sad_Cthulhu_Noises.jpg.wav.mp3.bmp

>>130306 This is why I prefer canine riddles such as "who's a good boy?"

>>130310 Loli Sphinx gives easier riddles.

Sphinxes are very challenging kots because they want to do RIDDLES and I want to do SCRITCHES. Top tier challenge.

She has longer claws than you do nails, so she gets to do the scritching.

>>130308 Shut up Kiki

>>130313 No, we do it together at the same time, the first to purr loses

>>130315 Anons don't purr. They make happy anon noises

Sphinx will be going to sleep now. She expects the correct answer by morning.

>>130317 The answer is ALWAYS "nibble sphinx ears while whispering sweet nothings into her ears." "I'mma make you a whole plate of cheezburgers."

>>130299 The coolest wine aunt

>>130316 That was the idea b'

>>130217 banshee my beloved

Pull scarf for assistance.

>>130322 Something about that runny mascara makes me want to shut her wailing mouth up with my tongue, then my dick

>>130322 I like my undead how I like my coffee, small size and lots of milk

>>130325 Good

I like my undead like I like my coffee - sitting on my face 69 style, having bitten me so much that their aphrodisiac saliva has inhibited all motor functions that aren't pelvic thrusts, and having my mind incubus zombified in real time by the amount of undead love juices and saliva i've ingested, plus only being able to breathe the intense reek of her sweaty arse and pussy.

I like my undead how I like my coffee: hot, dark and in my lap destroying my genitals.

>>130327 Must be a lot of effort to make that coffee.

>>130329 The best coffee is ghoul coffee. They protect the secret to their undeath.

I like my undead how I like my coffee: with brown skin and wearing a sexy Egyptian outfit.

You can get other sorts of coffee while in the southern desert kingdoms. It was the ghouls, under the patronage of the pharaohs, that mastered the art of the coffee bean. It has since spread beyond their borders, but the original coffee comes from them. It's high quality and full of mana. It has an extreme energising effect on undead and undead incubi. It fills them with power and vim and vigour. An undead who drinks the ghoul's coffee is more alive than any living monster. The slowest of mummies and shambliest of zombies renewed with purpose and passion, and the wights and pharaohs break their limits. "Traditional" ghoul coffee is prepared in secret. You won't guess what they put in it (okay you probably can guess at least a few ingredients). I hear it's a transformative experience. Really nothing else like it. If a girl has it, then one ghoul and one girl will enter the curtained room, and two ghouls will come out. If you are a single man, you will inevitably marry the ghoul that serves it to you. In fact, a ghoul might use it as a proposal for a guy she likes.

>>130328 Now I want to play MH World again

I like my undead how I like my coffee, hot and easy to take home

>>130332 This would fit perfectly in a world guide book. Bravo, anon

>>130331 the MGC beaches are dangerous, you never know when desert or corporate royalty may suddenly decide you'd make an excellent addition to their bedchamber

>>130335 thank you. ghouls come from arabic folklore, and the story of coffee in yemen and coffee arabica is pretty cool. that's the connection i was drawing from.

>>130332 >Coffee so strong it can kill a human woman >And then make her more energetic than she was when she was alive We should be more concerned about this than we are. Thank goodness for MAMONO MANA protection and the like.

Big Koturday.

>>130338 That coffee surely is one of (or a combination of) >Hel's nostrum >Ghoul titty milk >Ghoul saliva >Undead mana in the beans >Undead mana in the water >Undead mana in the heating method >Cursed cup >Some other plant or drug added into the drink

>>130336 >"Am I nothing to you?"

>>130341 >tries to tunnel to cute boys >hits damp sand

>>130246 Papa Wendi must be a big, strong, lumberjack man to be able to carry Ms. Whitehorn back home all by himself Does Papa Wendi pick up Ms. Whitehorn and carry her over his shoulders with her legs and hooves dangling in front, or does he tie her up and drag her by a sled when she's had too much wine at the bar?

>>130341 Now I want to play MHFU

>>130344 MOFU?

>>130340 Considering how sugars are released with fermentation I bet undead milk is very sweet

>>130331 Unlike most undead, Pharaoh's nature as sun deities should make them warm.

>>130336 It turns out the dark lord is staying in the same town as you this week (albeit in a much more expensive hotel), and has just spent all night locked in her room binging on fancy wine and garlic bread to celebrate her 4000th birthday. Right now it's broad daylight but she's well past the point of caring.

>>130348 You see a tanned vampire and you know she's kinky. Bet she'd even willingly fuck a (singular) human man.

>>130346 Tell a ghoul or zombie or other undead you want black coffee and she'll get offended.

I'm currently tinkering with some character ideas for a story I'm working on. Besides Anubis, what monster could you see being a trekkie?

>>130349 It also occurs to me that this is how you get tan dhampirs. Best. Vampire. Ever.

What monster would you likely encounter while driving down an isolated forested backroad in the middle of the night?

>>130351 Star Trek seems like too soft a sci-fi for anubi to get into. Phantoms would probably like it, bicorns would root for the captain to fuck all the aliens, and I can see gremlins doing their level best to recreate the tech ("set phasers to cum"). Consider also: p'orcs or other mob monsters rooting for the yellow shirts.

>>130349 Wife material, truly. >>130351 Nerdy Wight could imitate the Vulcan nerve pinch by draining a guy with her specter claw.

>>130339 We love big nerdy kot

>>130351 danuki NEET who subsists on moms' money and can recite all the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition from memory while winning tycoon videogames (but not reall ife because that would require going outside)

>>130354 >drive along the dark isolated forested road in the middle of the night >someone knocks on your side window <"Hello sir we have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warran--"

NEOMONSTER STREAM #2 FEATURING: A DANDY GUY IN SPACE MONSTER GIRL DOCTOR AA MEGAMI SAMA STARTING IN 2 HOURS https://cytu.be/r/NEOmonster is this a place for internet events invites?

>>130360 do the needful sir

>>130331 You want your coffee to wear a sexy Egyptian outfit? Damn, man

>>130361 >spoiler Personally I don't mind but if other anons complain there's always the meta thread

>>130351 I can see Shog really enjoying TMP but she might be sad when she realises V'ger isn't actually a cosmic horror. Fightan monsters would LOVE Khan and Automaton would probably like the androids if not TNG as a whole. Turns out the Alps are the ones who keep showing up for nu-Trek

I wonder if mamono do something special for someone's birthday (apart from the mamono lord, whom we do know has her birthday celebrated).

>>130366 They have this thing called a Day of Birth party, and everyone will come for a party, and sing the guy a song, and they have cake and drinks and presents.

>>130354 beetle

>>130366 Birthday celebrations are nearly universal for cultures able to track time well enoughfor an exact date of birth to be known, aren't they? I think the better question would be how the celebrations are different. You'd have food and probably some intoxicating/aphrodisiac substance, but what else? Would wyverns hold aerial races? Would silver coins be traditional gifts for dragons? Would pyrow be culturally obligated to do karaoke?

>>130371 >Would wyverns hold aerial races? I feel like Wyverns would need to be physically restrained from holding aerial races.

>>130341 back again with a small handful of splices I was able to get off the backlog, I'll see if I can get a few more done tonight

>>130372 Sexy wyvern cops chasing sexy wyvern racers for breaking the sexy rule of law.

>>130372 >Wyverns would need to be physically restrained from holding aerial races. That sounds like it could be part of the race. >All participantsstart on the ground >Their husbands are tasked with restraining them >Wyverns are responsible for breaking free from their husbands, raping him once, then flying a lap around a circuit or something >The fastest wyvern (for obvious reasons) and the husband with the slowest wyvern (for holding her down or holding back his orgasm longest) both win some prize

I need to be pecked aggressively by a wyverncop for jaywalking.

>>130378 That's stupid, only harpy cops should be able to enforce jaywalking statutes. Try merelizardwalking instead.

>>130379 I’m not opposed to getting frisked by a griffon or black harpy. But i also want a wyvern to headbutt and go “oi” repeatedly when I don’t give her attention for breaking some dumb dragonian bylaw.

>>130379 >anon tries walking around town with a bearded dragon on his shoulder >unfortunately it mistakes wyverncop for a giant bird of prey >immediately jumps off anon's shoulder and runs into a nearby storm drain when it sees her >anon and wyverncop have to spend the rest of the day searching for it it seemed like a good idea at the time

>>130304 A kiss

>>130382 >Anon gets to spend the day with a cute, helpful lady cop >They get to know each other >The obvious happens What a great dumb idea! They can even tell their daughters how they met while stroking the pet lizard that made it all happen.

I am a no good punk that needs some authority and order in my life, which is why I spray paint dragonian government buildings so a strict dragon species cop will take me under her wing as a parental figure (and rape me).

>>130374 Good wyvern!

>>130387 Childhood friends turned to rivals at the academy turned to partners on the beat

>>130388 Wyverns are so cool. I just wish I weren't terrified of heights or going too fast. I need, like, the wyvern version of one of those little trains that kids can go on at zoos and stuff.

>>130325 I like my undead like I like my white chocolate: pale, soft and bite-sized

>>130389 People ride ostriches, just get yourself a big cockatrice.

https://cytu.be/r/NEOmonster Stream starting in few minutes

>>130392 Stream of what?

>>130389 all the more reason for you to get wifevern

>>130393 some meme vids then anime

Wyverncops get to wear a flashing red and blue light on their head to pull people over

>>130396 she keeps clocking anon for walking under the speed limit in the flyway

>>130373 >>130380 >tfw no Malef pen pal to talk mad shit with over the mail

>>130398 >the letter always dramatically bursts into black flames when you're done reading it it's the little touches

>>130400 But what does it smell like? I can't imagine a letter from an illustrious Malef having no odor at all?.

>>130401 mere d'femalelizard

>>130393 >monster girl doctor starting at last

>>130402 I can't help but think her letters would smell like mulled wine and cinnamon rolls.

>>130401 It smells like expensive perfume. You decode whether that's a trick of the (expensive) paper she uses to write or the (needlessly complex) magic she cast on it. >HFW Anon starts adding glitter to his letters to even try to match her flair

yeah but how do these letters arrive? >messenger bat tapping on your window from the local vampire local >wurm scratches words on a rock and throws it through your window >sealed by big waxen seal from the royal makai >message in a bottle (love poseidon) >ratatoskr shows up at your door, turns around, shakes a letter out of her tail and leaves

>>130406 It's hand delivered by a tired dragonnewt who seems to have runa long way, accompanied by trumpets played by other tired looking dragonnewts. A gussied up mail hoss could work too.

>>130406 Tell me more about the rata shaking her tail at me

>>130406 >Malef sending an army to say 'come to my castle, I don't like you, baka"

Considering a lot of taste in women and fetishes are developed from being exposed to certain media as a kid. Do you think there'd be monsters in the entertainment industry, essentially fighting to form fetishes in the minds of boys through movies and tv shows? Like kids shows from desert kingdoms featuring dark-skinned women in Egyptian-themed clothing or cartoons written by lamias having a suspicious amount of scenes where male characters are being wrapped up and squeezed in snake coils.

>Give love letter to ogre >She's in her outhouse >of course >knock on door >"Occupied!" >knock again, then slide letter under door >"What the fuck? Oh. Oh... my gosh..." >hear her open the letter >"This came at just the right time." >*flush* >"I JUST ran out of toilet paper." The letter was fine. It was a joke. Ogre was horn molested for this prank.

>>130409 >Write a letter to a malef that reads, in part, "say that to my face, not via post, see what happens." >Smigly send letter >A few days later an armored caravan pulls up front of your house, complete with a dozen armed guards >A grizzled salamanderwith an eye patch jumps down from the most impressive carriage to knock on your door >Reading from a script given to her she says "Get in the coach, I'll 1v1 you, faggot." >You don't have the impression that refusal is an option At least the meal she'd feed you before riding through her very expensive floor would be superb.

>>130410 most of it's sabbath funded

>>130411 >Flush toilet >In an outhouse Monster tradition is a strange thing, yet it must be respected. >>130410 This really just seems like something monsters would do at any given opportunity regardless. Of course, they'd also have no shame in starting young as part of that.

>>130413 I lust for lolis but I don't think it was influenced by media, but it's more of a primal desire that all men have, the raw and pure desire for fertile little girls giving birth to your children, that can't be beaten or overwritten

>>130410 I get the feeling all they'd need to do is just appear on tv for that to happen. 'Cus supernatural beauty and all that.

>>130414 She's only there to shit and for a private place to read her Shoujo manga.

>>130416 >supernatural beauty and all that. That's only true when comparing them to human women; for monsters that's the norm. They'd probably still want to make their type/species/selves stand out, so for some reason sneks squeezing little boys while wearing belly dancer outfits would be ''really popular on children's shows. I would watch lots more children's programming in that universe.

>>130420 The Sabbath doesn't want you knowing this, but you can compress your mamono wife at any time.

>>130421 Just make sure to use a .rar or something if your wife is from Zipangu. They find it offensive if you use .zip.

>>130410 Children's shows in Dragonia almost always have a scene where the female lead goes full dragon form and the male lead has to ride on her back to resolve the episode's plot while the other characters all like "only you can save us, miss dragon".

Dogs!

>>130423 fuck yeah, that sounds rad. I'd watch the crap out of that show

>>130424 >Mans best friend >Man's girlfriend >Man's wife Luv dogs.

>>130420 She looks like the venus clay statue

Which girl would make the best host for nature documentaries on anons? Besides learncow, of course.

>>130429 She has to have a good voice, so probably one of the harpies.

>>130429 Baphomet, specifically Runya Runya

>>130429 Learncow. >But Anon, I said besides learncow. Fuck you, give me learncow. I'll accept a more excited and hands on monster like an Irwin style salamander if I must.

>>130429 Ocelomeh or kunoichi, the former for her immense environment of the jungle and the latter for her ability to sneak up on any animal and not be observed.

>>130429 C H E S H I R ERIHSEHC

>>130434 >ERIHSEHC who

>>130435 ERIHSEHC! She's best girl.

>>130436 No, that's ƎЯIHƧƎHƆ

>>130429 Mad hatter. >Describes Anon's masturbation habits and sexual preferences in a dignified way appropriate for a Victorian tea party while still leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination >Or maybe she just had a hot mic at a tea party and the producer rolled with it >You're honestly not sure. Also, what do you think mad hatters do when they aren't hatting or attending tra parties?

>>130437 Are you a wizard?

>>130438 Batting. Cricket is a big deal in Wonderland.