Trolls and Porcs though

I want to be in a relationship with a vampire hag and dhampir hag > Both have a friendly rivalry that's been going on for centuries, both like to show each other up and snip at each other, but both care for the other deeply > Vampire likes to boast about how much bigger her breasts are, dhampir likes to show off how much bigger and shaplier her butt is > Both like to dom, the vampire hag more aggressively, the dhampir hag more playfully > Vampire hag constantly trying to get dhampir hag to drink blood, dhampir hag always says no > Vampire hag likes to watch old romance movies, dhampir hag likes to play PS1/PS2 era JRPGs

>>117375 Look at that, I'm scaroused and she's not even trying to be scary.

>>117378 she cant help but light up when you're looking at her like that

>>117379 I can't help but look at her like that when that ass and those perkies are on display. Seems we've come to impasse that shall never be--ope, nope, my dick says we're getting in.

Remember to let your Minotaur sleep. She’s a sleepy girl. She must slumber. Let her snooze. You must allow her to rest. You need to be there for her kip. She is not for waking.

Did you know? Blueberries are rich in antioxidants. It's very healthy to eat/be eaten by them.

>>117382 ur mum is a blueberry

Cheshire is fucking with me again. She’ll randomly appear doing the Carlton dance. And then when I blink she’s gone. Then when I blink again she’s there again. Sometimes she waits several blinks to reappear. Always picking the worst moment to do it, but then she’s gone again. Highly irritating precise bothering of me.

>>117383 how was he supposed to know that one of the clauses of that contract would make her his legal guardian?

>>117375 >bathe in hot springs >naked salamander gets in with you >doesn't even realize she's doing anything lewd, just an airhead

>>117384 That is what Cheshires call flirting.

>>117375 >Take Sally home >Terrified she is going to set things on fire >Just terrified

>>117387 I call it harassment and unfortunately not sexual harassment. Next she’s gonna start singing while doing it. I could dance back, but then I’d look ridiculous in public. She is very careful to only do it when nobody else is looking.

>>117389 You need to dance back at her. This signals that you are receptive to her flirting. She WILL make fun of your dancing, though. That's part of it and a good sign.

>>117390 Man this courtship ritual is bullshit. Are all wonderland monsters like this? Chesh kisses better be worth it.

>>117376 Indeed.

Getting sat on and crushed by a kaiju girl.

>>117391 >Are all wonderland monsters like this? Jabberwock courtship is simple, just rape her

>>117395 They gotta stop testing those dark matter bombs on remote islands. Or at least make sure they're uninhabited first.

>>117396 But I want her to rape me. Preferably smothering me with her chest and licking me with her tentacles while doing it.

Being gaslit and psychologically broken into loving a mindflayer!

my rape is augmented

>>117396 Beware the jabberwock my anon. The jaws that bite, the claws that catch.

>>117399 Has she considered being genuinely kind instead? I think that might be easier if she's not just going to tentacle my cares away.

>>117397 Not yet. I am trying to upgrade my malef childhood friend into a ultra-rare legendary variant.

Wock could defeat prime deonora or prime DL malef if it was over the last donut in the box.

>Cheshire hatter wock and marchhare in frantic hushed whispers >walk up to them >they scatter back to their seats >ask them what’s up >”trouble at the mill.” >what >”trouble at the mill.” >what mill >what could they be whispering about >why are they like this

>>117404 But what about pre-Crisis Superman?

>>117402 Flayer-chan is always kind. You are imagining silly things. Has she ever hurt you? No, she didn't. She will always be you. Unlike with others you can always trust Flayer-chan. You don't need anyone else.

>>117391 With hatters you can generally just throw her over your shoulder, excuse yourself saying you need to get into a bit of a sticky wicket, and leave. The guests will all chuckle if you just act naturally.

>>117409 This is a very polite and proper way to do it, if you don’t want to fuck her on the table sheet there and then. She might think you’re into cricket though. And then start talking about cricket while giving you paizuri.

>>117376 My favorite combo I miss a greentext about a Troll inviting her horde friends from school to have a pajama party, they end up fighting with anal tug of war and the Troll ended overpowering them all

>>117412 Remember that the anus has two muscles that can be trained separately, I bet that there are monsters at the gym training those muscles for anal tug of war matches or professional tournaments

>>117410 >"No, love, the sticky wicket I meant to get into was yours." <[Slurping noises] "I assume the gentleman doesn't mind being kept waiting?" >"I have all the time in the world for youuuu, but not if you keep doing that." Of course, this could then be an invitation for her to teach you about Cricket, and as I understand it the rules put Calvinball to shame.

>>117375 Going to the onsen with your Alpbro

>>117415 Dude those moles look disgusting

>>117415 Nipple piercings are gay

>>117415 She is incredibly cute; them glasses are super excellent. >>117416 You're so wrong. You probably don't like freckles either, you MONSTER. >>117417 Fact check: FALSE.

>>117415 Shiny butt erotic

>>117416 >>117417 >disgusting >gay Accurate words do describe an a*p

I bet post-workout salamander pits smell amazing.

>>117422 she looks like she parries

>>117407 codependency best dependency

>>117426 Cod ependency? Is this mermaid propaganda?

>>117430 Becoming a fisherman so I can catch my wife.

>>117431 the ocean: nature's mystery box

>>117432 Yet we all know I'm just going to keep going until I hit Cthulhu-chan!

>>117398 Bring smothered by Miss Jabberwock sounds like it would be absolutely divine.

>>117434 >absolutely divine more liek "absolutely BOVINE" haha fatty

>>117435 Please don't defame my cow wife by comparing her body to a jabberwock.

>>117436 Maaaaybe. What kind of cow?

>>117437 Hakutaku. I just realized I've basically been imagining her built like Nagi from Ruri Rocks, maybe a hair more slender.

>>117439 OK, fine, I guess. Spiders make the best cows but to each their own.

>>117440 he sounds like he secretly wants to fuck cows

>>117441 I want to fuck SPIDER COWS. That is not a secret.

>>117442 it's a bit unclear

>>117441 No secret there. If I don't end up with some random succ on DOTR (likely) I'm buying some cow print clothes so everyone knows.

>>117444 it would be rude to refuse the first monster that makes eye contact with you

>>117445 Lotta oopsies from the Shogs in that dept.

<"Yeehaw, where are all the horseboys up in here?!" >"...You mean cowbo--" <"NO I FUCKING DON'T! LEMME SEE THOSE HORSEBOYS! WHO WANTS A PIECE OF HOSS?! Anybody?" Sadly for centaurs, horseboys just don't work like horsegirls do.

>>117447 >Centaurs encounter ponyplay >Very, very, very, very, very confused

>>117447 there are some deerhunters though

>>117449 Everyone wants to sproink, whitehorns made a very strong opening argument for deer. Pic only technically related, but my image folder is a mess.

There were tragically few Bunyips in the last thread. You can still help by posting about pool noodles.This is a threat.

>>117451 If I shave a bunyip will she be mistaken for a normal lamia with a potty mouth?

>>117451 They have more success during winter

>>117415 Maybe alps are not that bad

>>117454 They were never bad, just good girls in search of love and friendship that have to carry the burden of once being men, despite being full fledged biologival females

>>117454 They're and the people spamming them are worse.

>>117415 I need my face in between her cheeks

>>117453 Their white fur makes them powerful predators in Winterstown, they can hide in the snow to pounce tourists and snug them while yelling in angry Finnish

>>117458 Why would Australian monsters speak Finnish?

>>117459 Australia doesn't get snow so they've been raised in Finnish winter lands to be apex snow predators, they know perkele, kossu, sauna, and rally

>>117460 >rally The Ice Yip...

>>117460 >Perkele, I've just been in this place before...

>>117458 And their natural fluffiness can also attract prey directly in their warm embrace

great owl hoots are great, but barn owl screeches would terrify me

Would a dorky Jinko be easier to approach or would it still be too intense?

>>117467 One that isn't dorky is more likely to approach you first. Just be polite and straightforward with her.

>>117452 >wife keeps calling you "cunt"

>>117468 >Hello, I find you cute anon <Hello, same would you like to go on a date tonight? >Yes, right after-work? <Yeah, I will reserve a restaurant and we can hangout at the bar before >Good, see you at 6pm <Same, good afternoon Most unrealistic discussion, even in MGE

>>117471 >Hey we both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?

so the clouds just accompany her, even in bet?

>>117473 She envelops you in the night and, uhh, something.

>>117471 Don't deny big cats their dream.

>>117473 Yeah. Its because she's so sexy. I headcanon that the smoke is how she's able to gaslight men into thinking she's always lived with them.

>>117475 Getting pet?

It’s Thursday. Don’t post any monsters they’re still at work.

>>117479 Monsters at work does sound like a fun idea for an anime.

>>117480 Turning monsters into wagies is mamono abuse

>>117481 Plenty of fun to have at work when monsters are involved.

>>117482 But is it still work if it's just "sex at workplace" LARP? Where's the crushing depression and anxiety?

>>117480 I don’t want to travel for the “team day” in person. I don’t want to! I’m the only human in the team.

>>117480 I wish we had monsters in my office, a stress relief big kot would be a net positive

>>117483 >But is it still work if it's just "sex at workplace" It doesn't even have to be sex. Just regular people being nice to each other, or hearing the stories about the time the salamander in the storage department went fishing and caught a demon realm fish the size of a house(she's exaggerating a bit) or tasting the office troll's shepard's pie.

Sex at the office is good, but sexing from home is better. My face BELONGS between office demon thighs mashed against her sweaty purple vagina.

>>117489 And huffing and licking her blueberry butthole while she tries to format a power point document. Giving her maximum pleasure while on mute in a teams call.

>>117486 This, just a peaceful place for peaceful work

>>117196 <Ninpo! Pregancy! The art of triplets!

I must rape.