>>123173 Are any of these sneks mean and holding onto a slice of carrot cake?

need snek

I want to go to the deem cafe to request the beegest, thickest deem they have on staff and have her feed me cake as I sit in her lap.

>"Thought you didn't like to play the hero?" <"Doesn't mean I don't know how."

>>123177 This is what happens when your wife hangs out with her damphire friend.

>pov >you went to the checkout with a female cashier

>Phew! >Thanks for the blowjob miss succ, but one cum is enough for me! >Good night!

>>123176 This is how you end up a demons husband anon. You are effectively a cuddly toy. She’s gonna eat you up.

>white snake time again Good thread.

>>123181 I see no problem with that whatsoever. I mean, being a cuddly toy for a beeg thicc demon seems like the life; if the route I take lets me sit in said demon's lap and rest my head against her enormous rack and sit on her plushy thighs, so much the better.

>>123180 >She lets you go >She then rapes you in your dreams all night long >Ms. Nightmare is very upset with her the next day,but it was worth it

I will play with hebi's pointy ears.

I'd like one extra large portion of snek cuddles, please.

>>123187 Smelly snakecel. Wet dog snakecel.

>>123182 >"Th-th-th-THREAD!?" >"ARACHNE BITCHES NEED TO BACK THE FUCK OFF!" >enraged_hebi_noises.youtube.com

>>123186 Egads! I bet you would even nibble them gently, you rough beast!

>>123187 This yip appears to have tan lines for a bikini bottom, but no tan lines for a bikini top. Makes you think.

>>123193 I think it's just light on her tummy. Her skin looks a bit shiny.

Sex with little girls!

>>123195 I'm listening.

>>123190 When i saw roomba as one of the raffle prizes, this is not what I had in mind

>>123174 That seems highly specific

>>123179 There's a reason for the old wisdom of >don't stick your dick in crazy But of fucking course monsterfuckers go >hmm, I want to marry the most unhinged batshit insane bitch there is

>>123179 Is she burning his ball? Horrifying

>>123189 Wet cat, not dog

>>123200 Desperate times call for desperate measures.

>I missed the cat cafe talk Damn it

>>123203 What happens when you accidentally get a boner in the cat cafe while petting the cat?

>>123196 >put out a request for a monster knight to protect you on your journey >the only response you get is from a pixie >it turns out her stats are just as busted as the full-size monster knights

>>123187 she looks like you're the fourth person in the world to hear the sound of her voice

>>123205 >hire her >wtf her gear is insane >unequip all of it and take it >try to equip it <You do not have proficiency in fairy armor. >what <You do not have proficiency in fairy armor. >not even the sword? <This item is too big for you. Idiot. >naked fairy knight 2.5x your level gives you the eyebrow as you trade it back in shame.

>>123195 i'm beginning to think this was the answer all along

>>123195 Good morning Jeff!

Kinda need a pair of tits to sleep between

>>123210 >anon knackers his back with this odd sleeping position

>>123213 Indeed. Knackered napping on her knockers.

>>123195 This guy is right

>>123195 Yes, powerful little girls bearing my children I love the Sabbath

>>123210 I understand, that's I want portals to open soon so my auntster can manifest, find me and let me use her as my personal body pillow every night, I bet that despite sleeping 5 hours at best during working days my cortisol levels would drop dramatically and my testosterone would rise up drastically just by having her by my side during sleeping, her titties around my face and her arms and legs hugging me tight

dragon inspector is a real job (but my license is fake)

>Ah crap. My coordinates on my missile were off. >Eh, it's just one data centre. What's the worst that could happen.

A man could not sleep between a pair of Grem titties

>>123226 if i had two grems i could probably work something out

>>123227 You might be onto something.

Grem is small. Grem is also a cat (it true). Therefore, when sleeping with Grem, she will find a way to take up 80-100% of the bed.

we back

we black

>>123232 And small

>>123232 >we're 100% black >lapdogs, three fifty

>>123235 The portals can't happen soon enough. I'm sure monster girls would produce banger games like that.

>>123204 Accidentally? >>123221 >When your wife's diabolical plans accidentally do the world good Oh, "accidents!" I get it!

>>123236 >you can kiss my fucking ass This really hits different in demon realms

>>123239 You’re not supposed to actually do it. That’s why she’s got a big floof tail to clothesline you on approach. If you actually kissed the hounds ass why she’d… she’d… something.

>>123240 >You’re not supposed to actually do it. The big fluffy tail is to cover your head and her rear so that you don't break public sex laws

>>123235 Do you have any idea how to multiply?

>>123241 Doing something like that in public is embarrassing but hot, so I’m glad shes got a way to do it without raising eyebrows. I’m gonna smooch her perfect hound ass so much.

>>123241 The tail isn't nearly fluffy enough for concealment. Now, foxes, nuki, rata, and (surprisingly) kikimora, on the other hand...

>>123244 I’m gonna say the nuki has the most smoochable buttocks in that group.

buy low sell high

>>123245 I agree

>>123247 god i love ass worship

Just went down to the shop that just opened down the street and the danuki working there said she's give me a 20% discount if I let her sit on my face. Jokes on her, I would have let her do it even with no discount!

>>123247 >>123248 I want to play with auntie's cheeks

>>123249 It’s a long shift and that chair can get so uncomfortable(lie). Nobody can even see you under there so it’s all fine. Just stay reasonably quiet and still. I wonder if mamano mana would make a guys face comfier to sit on.

>>123251 Maybe? I imagine even if there is any discomfort, Miss Danuki is more than willing to overlook it so long as she has a cute man lodged firmly under her derriere.

>>123252 >I thought I’d have to bribe you to agree to this >but now I’m looking at the tent in your pants and feeling how heavy you’re breathing under me >and I’m just wondering if you would have actually paid me to do this to you! >Just which one of us is enjoying this more hmm? >*lip bite* And then she pushes your pants down with her feet and gives you a tabi footjob while sat square on your face.

>>123221 I'm imagining a very angry system admin speeding through traffic heading to Grems secret underground lair It's not actually a secret he's just following the big neon signs on the highway for "Grem's Ubër Secret Lair (No Guys Allowed)"

Shirohebi

>>123255 white snake is best snake

>>123255 HEB HEBI

>>123256 ummmm racist and problematic, much?

>>123256 Just plain wrong.

What is your favourite snex position?

>>123258 Yes, we must secure the existence of our people and a future for wight children.

>>123260 Constricting me until I pass out, cum, or both.

>>123260 face to face fully coiled, just like in the good book.

>>123256 Exactly, shirohebis are incarnation of the one true love

>>123264 Bonus points if she's kissing deep with her snek tongue. >>123262 The dream. And yet I also crave the venom.

>>123267 Not aggressive enough. One or both of them needs raging mushroom in their bento boxes.

>>123260 anything

kidnapping ryu while all the hebis are distracted

getting kidnapped by grape and then raped and graped and raped and graped and raped and graped and raped and graped and cuddled.

>>123207 The only way to save your reputation is to pretend you had other reasons for undressing her.

>>123269 wtf who turned hebi into a N

>>123273 Someone with good taste. Now drink your hebi juice.

I must rape.

>>123275 >cute weresheep after eating a raging mushroom

>>123274 I want hebi to drink my juice If you know what I mean ehehehe

>>123271 As if you would even call it rape after the first time.

>>123277 >t. Awkward Apple Orchard Anon

>>123277 And I want to drink some of that sweet sweet hebi juice. The one that is a love potion.

I'd just call the police that a strange woman is trying to break into my home

>>123280 Hebi spiking anons drink with love potion and homemade cookies. All of them are guaranteed included her love juice

>>123282 How much dicking does this bitch need before she calms the fuck down and stops putting her blood or other juices in your food?

>>123282 >hebi did you put your sweat/love juices in this? <…which should I answer to make you drink it?

We need art of gymmaxxing balrogs/pyrows.

A guy gets to film an entire documentary of the inner workings of a ryu shrine. He gets to talk to all the hebis. Learns about their religion, culture, daily routine. How the fire magic works. What they eat. Some startling truths. He doesn't realise one of the hebis is plotting to sex him. It's already too late.

>>123282 >anon assuming hebi put earwax or something into the cookies when really it was just milk

>>123285 True. Imagine her with a flat sexy toned tummy. I would lick so hard.

>>123255 he's right

>>123286 And it's not the first in that documentary series either. Different monsters. Different places. Same style and shooting and vibe. Learning about how a monster lives. But it's a different guy each time. Almost like there is cut footage of the documentarian getting raped after everything else is done. And then since he's busy starting a family, they have to get a new guy in. ...Anyway, I'm going to star in the new episode "Ogres, peeling back the layers." It's going to be my big break!

>>123290 The cameraman and boom mic operator have seen and heard it all

Hebi must have her mind blown when she finds out other women don't find her husband attractive.

>>123291 It's hard work! Also a lot of responsibility. Your work could be the first exposure of many single men to that kind of monster. You need to capture them in a fair, perhaps even favourable light. And monsters can be very excitable. If you film in a crowded area, you may be swarmed by curious monsters. Cameras are new technology to them. Everyone either not sure what the camera even is, or trying their hardest to get in frame. Succs and pyrows posing, minos flexing etc. If you film out in the wild, then you are banking on a wild monster not sneaking up behind you as you wait for the perfect shot.

>>123292 Hebi be like >more to me~

>>123293 >Anon inna woods >Photographin’ >Jinko sneaks up and gently cuddles him

>>123293 Fatal Frame but the ghosts are (more) horny

>>123295 >Anon inna wonderland >Photographin' >Eyes buried in the lens >A cheshire teleports by >"What'ch'nya doing?." >"SHH! Don't distract me from my photography." >"What are you photographin'?'" >"Cheshires. I'm hiding in wait for one to pass by." >"Can I watch and wait with you?" >"If you're quiet."

>>123285 <Hey Anon, wanna see me cut that mountain in half?

>>123297 very cute

>>123298 >Wanna see me do it again?

>>123290 <So what do you ogres do for fun >Well, we like to read the cutting-edge philosophies and dialogues on the nature of Ares published in reputable journals. Once a month or so we convene over whiskey to discuss these notions, and have even some highly respected contributors and theologians amongst our ranks. <what >other days we get drunk and compete to see who can throw a boulder the furthest <ah

>>123301 Basically Greek philosophers, read up on the meaning of Plato's name

>>123302 >a mino, an oni, an ogre, an amazon and some other robust monsters sitting around in revealing togas >shiny >muscular >sexy >drinking wine and eating grapes on a warm Mediterranean evening >debating nature of the Bacchus and Ares >Small anon scribe writing it all down without being distracted by their size or tits or ass or the ocassional flirtatious wink

>>123264 peak

>>123303 >Hakutaku: ummmm akshully you can never know the real truth >Amazon: shut up *drops robe and flexes chiseled body*

>>123305 The haku gets up and flexes back! Wonder if she’d simply be a ripped Haku or some sort of browncow Mino-haku hybrid.

>>123304 poke

>>123306 hakus are a mino subspecies so all hakus are ripped by default

>>123303 >mess up or provide an exemplary insight or otherwise catch their attention >rape >the next day bedridden >pelvis too sore to move >neck strained by intense facesitting and smothering and headscissoring >the culprit(s) tend to my injuries and recite the epics to me >delicious food, tender kisses and gentle milking >the (ripped) unicorn said she could have you mended in an instant, but suggested you heal naturally to give the culprit(s) time to make a softer impression

>>123204 Death, by snu-snu. Anon, being the most handsome man to ever enter the cat café ( lie ) will be snu-snu’d by the most beautiful cats in the Cat Kingdom, then the large cats, then the petite cats, then the large cats again.

Anon is cursed by a hex that makes him sound like a squeaky toy when squeezed or hugged or squeeshed.