kon?

>>124466 will this be in the exam?

>>124468 yes, now put on the practice ring.

>>124466 Miss Haiku You are a poem How do you do it?

>>124470 How does Miss Haiku expect me to concentrate when she has such massive tits to stare at?

> Be servant of vampire > Vampire comes home in a huff from social gathering, pissed off because Miss Wight made fun of her for her (relatively) small bust size > Vampire tells you in no uncertain terms that she's going to fix that, is going to be feeding on you more and more until she's even more stacked than Miss Wight > Vampire immediately increases blood intake; starts taking blood twice a day instead of just once, then ups to three times a day > You suddenly need healing magic administered every day to make sure your body has enough blood to function normally > New blood intake doesn't seem to have any effect, then one day Vampire realizes to her joy that her old underwear doesn't fit anymore > Vampire immediately ups her blood intake even more, puts you on protein-heavy diet to maximize blood production > Effects become more and more apparent with passage of time; vampire goes from lean and mean to much larger, jigglier, even smugger version of herself > After just a month or two she's surpassing holstaurs and other bovine mamono in terms of sheer bust size, looks like she's soon Miss Abaddon to shame > Other effects are apparent too; her derriere keeps getting bigger and rounder, her thighs get thicker and fatter, she's even got something of a tummy to go with it all > Vampire is pleased as punch regardless; loves to go out in public with you to show off her new curves > Is experimenting with your diet to maximize growth; is apparently working with a lich to have her findings published, other vampires are apparently very curious about their findings

>>124479 <"hes staring at my tits again... good~" <"i hope he fails the exam again this year." <"another year, then he'll make a move on me for sure!"

Imagine your rival alping instead of your bro

>>124484 Tsundere Alp is fine too

i want to gruntle disgruntled magical girls

>>124484 No, if you cum inside your enemies they win!

>>124484 If that's the newest meme character, it's not even an alp. Why do alpfag always act this gay and retarded

>>124490 NTA, but I act gay and retarded because I heard online that it attracts Cheshires.

>>124480 You at least get to eat well.

>>124490 It's not gay if he's a girl

>>124480 vampires have many books and several schools of thought on human husbandry, and how to get the best tasting blood. for a proper study ms lich will be controlling things like mood(happiness, fear, the height of ecstasy?), habitat, clotting factor, diet (loli vampires favor the diabetic or prediabetic blood for its sweetness) mysteriously, one of the most important findings was the mans blood tasted better if the lich wore an apron while cooking the food and in the following months many have corroborated these results

>>124484 Alps are not supposed to looks this good, they should be scrawny and unappealing

>>124497 Slender Alps are cute too and they are in fact appealing

>>124498 I think that in general we underrate tall flats. They're cute!

>>124499 I'm sorry, but I'm still going to proceed with my evil scheme to contaminate every tap on the plan with holst milk.

>>124499 it is elegant

>>124499 Average size flats too

Bullying Alps is homiephobic

Do not bully alps because they enjoy it, be nice and gentle instead if you want them gone

>>124499 But what monsters make for the best flatties?

>>124523 boogs, especially mantiseses and mommy long legs

>>124523 Ittan Momen. All ironed out with no wrinkles.

None of you have minds strong enough to survive being shoved into balrog's cleavage without being mindbroken.

>>124535 You'd need to go a lot lower than a balrog before I have a chance of coming out with my mind in one piece and I'm okay with that. Mindbreak me, volcano mommy.

>>124533 I've always been curious about these. How would they actually pan out as wives? Their article seems to barely describe them as more than objects rather than actual women, although maybe it's just me.

>>124541 Its best not to contemplate how ittan momen reproduction works. Life's little mysteries and all that.

I want to cream pie the big kot, why is my brain obsessed with kots. Help?

>>124480 >go to the next ball >wiggling in her carriage seat to put her nemesis in her place >Miss Wight is wearing an even more elaborate dress and even more precious stones >people are already praising her for her recent discovery in astronomy before vamp arrives fashionably late >anon's essence made his wife richer and smarter and your essence made your wife ... bigger >vamp is at a critical lowpoint >will you convince her that Miss Wight is a mean hussy who doesn't deserve to influence her life (locks in Path of Refinement) >or will you convince her that the real and the physical is what (un)life is all about, not sophistry and materialism? (locks in Path of Hedonism)

>>124638 >why is my brain obsessed with kots Toxoplasmosis >Help? None possible.

>>124480 Hell on earth. Maybe Eros protects me from this kind of selfish mamonos.

>>124640 Is it terminal?

I wonder if the wikifag is still updating the galleries, God bless that man

>it turns out the ancient evil was never sealed in the first place >she just quit because she got bored, and now most people don't recognize her anymore

>>124644 evil is stored in the body fat

>>124643 I hope he already made plans to switch to another solution because I suspect Imgbox might never fix their shit at this rate.

>>124502 Yes!

It is now ILLEGAL to fox.

>>124644 >Anon. >Can you keep a secret? >I was wondering when I'd have to tell you this. >I wished the day wouldn't come. >But here it is. >More than anything, I hope you won't think differently of me. >It regards my past. >I have a dark, dark chocolate. >The cacao in my bars. It's not 75%. It's 80. >I just add more sugar. >People think my chocolate is better, deeper, more complex, like I get it somewhere special - I don't. I've just fooled them into eating extra dark. >That's right, extra dark. I've been serving misbranded extra dark to the whole town since I started this. If anyone finds out and reports me - if the inspectors find out about the SCALE of it... >I'd be ruined like a peasant village on the bad side of a mountain. >It's times like these I'm glad you were a dragonslayer instead of a chocolatier. Their oaths are even stricter. >Phew. >Thanks, you old sweet tooth. I'm sorry I was so worried. I'm still not used to having someone like you in my life. >Say. What guild did you join after you retired, anyway?

I’m a menace to society. I have had lewd fantasies about monster girls in uniform. I must be locked up by the MGCPD and sent to a correctional facility where I will be corrected.

>>124651 Whose the chief of police?

>>124652 Better yet, whose the chef of police

>>124653 they take a packed lunch. if they are lucky husband makes them one.

Ufufufu The performance is about to begin

>>124652 An very tired anon, he's a veteran from before the portal and still unmarried. Too much work, a lot made by his own new policewomen.

I have a mouth, but no titties to suck on. This is unfair.

>>124657 He should marry and retire one of the new girls, enjoy donut and coffee dates. His replacement should be a monster girl. I vote for kraken, dragon or krampus

>>124659 He can't, ks married to the job you see

>>124660 >ks freudian slip, the squids have been deployed

>>124660 It's time for him to quit. For someone new to step up. He might settle down with another cop, or a nice succ, or a rowdy delinquent balrog.

>>124656 Finally, I get to see live rendition of peak of human cinema - the plane hijack scene!

>>124662 >It's time for him to quit >telling grizzed old vet anon to divorce the love of his life (his job) May Eros strike you down where you stand!

>>124663 >Monster cinema >"IS ANYONE ON THIS PLANE A DOCTOR?" >Unicorn already wearing a sexy doctor/nurse outfit walks into shot >"I AM." >No explanation on how Dr Unicorn could have possibly fit in an economy seat or why she was even flying economy >No time for that >She has to suck the venom out of anon's penis

>>124535 I would ignore the danger and put my head on loli Balrog dfc or thighs.

>>124535 Is her cleavage sweaty? If yes then I'm done for. Same could be said if she shoved my face in her butt though.

>>124535 I would her and her Pyrows minions

>>124669 Be careful with the Alps mixed in their ranks

In these cold times I must stay warm. I need to be facesat under a blanket by a beeg monster.

>>124671 I dunno, Anon. Sounds dangerous.

>>124672 Yeah, it would be different to be facesat by an ushi. I'm not saying unpleasant or even difficult, but different.

>>124670 I fear no man

>>124674 Do you fear the dread nightmare? She is a very clumsy lady. You could get stepped on (non-sexually).

>>124674 >Fool! No man can lay me! <I'm no man!

>>124652 Ambitious, clever, sets a good example? Mostly because SHE WOULD LOOK HOT AS FUCK IN THAT OUTFIT.

>>124665 I meant THE plane hijack scene. The one where Abaddon-chan and her goons kidnap doctor Anon and crash the plane with no survivors (because everyone there was already undead)

>>124678 The fire rises.

>>124678 there's also various sky pirates, sky krakens and sky charybdis to watch out for

>>124679 Ayooo, dat pussy is literally FIRE🔥🔥🔥

>>124680 I can haz sky kot?

>>124678 Bane being mamono washed is very sad. Some things should never changed

>have one friend who's very effeminate looking >he's never shown interest in women >probably crossdresses for all you know >portals open >expect him to alp within a day >next time you meet him he has a hot feminine monster wife >however the one chad in your friend group is now an alp

>>124682 there's manticores, chimeras and gremlins for all your sky kot needs

>>124685 am i a joke to you?

>>124644 The secret to not being recognized anymore: put on a whole lot of weight. >>124686 No, she's very precious to me.

Confident cocky griffon maid and tepid cutesy kiki bodyguard

>>124679 >telling 'nubis to stop playing her silly MoI4 mods and get a job

she can also beat dragons up, which is very impressive. not many monsters can do that. sure a human can mere a dragon just fine but otherwise dragons are very scary opponents. miss chicken kitten dont care.

>>124690 oomukades are dragon bullies too maybe these dragons aren't all they say they are

>>124691 Are they ever?

>>124688 Kiki everyday

>>124691 dumb lizard get im-peded

>>124691 >oomukades are dragon bullies too Only the eastern ones (unless I'm misremembering and KC said the exact opposite)

>>124693 in my opinion the griffon has larger boobs and is sexier. i would rather my maid tease me and skirt the power dynamic and boundaries of what is appropriate

>halfway through spooky month >barely seen any discussion about about goth monsters Disappointing

>>124691 My Pedephilia is getting STRONGER

>>124688 >Bullying your bodyguard >Being bullied by your maid Heaven.

There's a reason the Ryuu keep themselves out of oomukade territory.

>>124696 She's sexier and a kot but also a dom so I can't

>>124697 I want Miss Banshee to be overwhelmed with emotion and push my face into her enormous chest and/or thighs as she tenderly weeps.

>>124697 Goth kot sexy but is she evil?

>>124699 hell yeah. your griffon maid will find any excuse to clean in the same room as you, and then constantly brush you with her tail or wings, or simply thrust her ass in your face as she bends over to clean something.

Early birds get the worm, thats why you should rember to opean your window before bed so the harpies have access to you in the morning.

What modern luxuries would a birb enjoy?

>>124699 Bullying your bodyguard is even worse than bullying your maid. Ensuring she has a healthy amount of confidence is vital.

>>124707 Velcro, automatic doors, and anything that makes it easier for when you have to manipulate things using wings and talons.

>>124708 You don't understand, it's MUCH funnier when some asshole doesn't take her seriously because she's stammering and tearfully asking him to go away. Watching him get demolished when he takes one step too close is amazing every time.

I want to """bully""" my jinko bodyguard

>Yes boss >No boss >If they ever say that to you again I will crack their skulls open for ya boss

>>124676 Even better

>>124711 >Bodyguard in the streets >"Assaulted" maid in the sheets This is acceptable. Nothing quite like "pinning down" and tickling a woman you just watched (very peacefully and mostly figuratively) snap a dude in half.

>>124715 Get a room already!

>>124715 Like kissing a vacuum cleaner, poor guy.

>>124717 Better a vacuum cleaner than a drain snake. Do NOT kiss frogs, they will not turn into princesses but they will turn your throat into an onahole.

>>124701 It's not just ryus. Everyone stays out of oomukade's gooncave.

>>124701 >gehe, gehe, gehehehe Damn, she's unhinged

>>124719 How's she supposed to get a hubby now if not even men go in there?

>>124719 That's mostly just the smell. >>124721 Maybe one day she'll realize that the people telling her to "touch grass" were giving her genuine advice. Probably not, but maybe.

>tell pixie you don't see how she could be an effective bodyguard at that size >pixie just snaps her fingers and grows to 3 meters tall >asks if you see it now or if you'd like her to show you some restraining techniques

>>124723 Showmeshowmeshowme

>>124723 It’s true she could protect me at that size pretty well, but if she wanted to be extra sure, she could shrink me to fairy size and shove me in her tits or panties.

>>124714 Yup, best of both world

>>124726 Need jinko maid to give scritches to

>>124704 All cats are inherently evil

>>124728 That is true and why I love cats with all my heart.

>>124728 Not cheetahs. Cheetahs just want headpats.

I want my bodyguard to assert herself

>>124731 Is that really the most effective way to guard a body?

>>124732 It's just a medical check she does every evening to make sure he wasn't injured or poisoned.

>>124733 It's also an excellent workout and a sleep aid. Isn't she thoughtful?

>>124734 Yeah, and if I'm sleeping as her little spoon tucked between her huge fluffy hound body, then nobody would dare attack me.

I can take her

>>124737 computer says no

>>124737 Take her where?

>>124740 Pound Town

>>124541 they're spirit types so imagine ghost blowjob but also sexo with the ghost in the sheet or something like that

>>124740 I was hoping to dinner but she can't make up her mind on where she wants to go

However she's most in her element raping a cute anon

I want my manticore rapist to have a cute dorky kot side, but make no mistake - she wears the trousers. I just know her ticklish and sensitive spots if I want to fight dirty, and give her a good reason to spine me. I like them loving but sadistic. I love to be dominated. She loves to spine and devour me. Hold my hand with her paw in public posessively. Bite my ear and lick my cheek. Of course I'll scritch her back and cuddle her after sex. The aftercore aftercare is a delight. It's a perfect match really.

>>124715 anon was choking on some food and ms hebi is performing lifesaving heimlich maneuver (modified)

>>124746 would tease a manticore until adequate results are had

>>124731 the safest place is probably under a hellhound

Which mamono would throw the best Halloween party? I'm personally leaning towards either Miss Hellhound (loud music, orange beer, more smashed pumpkins than the eye can see), Miss Wight (masquerade ball with copious amounts of sexy shenanigans and her secret recipe for spiced cider) or Miss Bogie (mountains of candy and other desserts, all manner of genuine spookiness, and big clown tits).

>>124750 if bacchus is running a monster mash i'd check it out

>>124751 I would definitely go to a Halloween party run by the church of Bacchus. God knows that there would be plenty of booze.

>>124138 Going to be really hard to wait for next chapter, Osum did nothing wrong

>>124750 I'm not big into tricks but I'd love to be miss Bogie's treat. I'll also nominate Gargoyle for a gothic themed party.

>>124749 I feel VERY safe.

>>124748 >Anon that wasn't funny (it was very funny and she's just a sore loser)

>>124750 Step the FUCK back, we just entered titania territory. They aren't spooky monsters or undead, but there's no way fairies wouldn't be entirely into putting on costumes, eatting entirely too much candy, dancing, playing pranks, and fucking. That said, a wight party would be my second choice. Balrogs might work as well if you ignore all the melted chocolate.

>>124757 A party hosted by Miss Balrog (and Miss Pyrow?) sounds like fun, but it also sounds like a good way for anyone wearing a costume to get heat stroke.

>>124758 They'll be getting stroked alright.

>>124758 If you go to a monster party, especially a fire type monster party and you're not dressed lightly that's your mistake. But also <"Ohmigawd Anon, you're, like, totes fire right now! Let's get that costume off before you unalive yourself, LOL! >Anon was then stripped and made even hotter

I need a tall busty undead noblewoman to hold me lovingly and tell me that everything is going to be alWight. I really do need it.

>>124759 Specially their Alp friends

alps are gay

>>124754 >I'm not big into tricks but I'd love to be miss Bogie's treat. For better for worse, Miss Bogie loves her tricks, so she's almost certainly going to scare the shit out of you at least once before the night is through. It would actually be entirely in character for her to lure you to somewhere where you think a party is going to be held, just so she can really get you good and spooked before she makes her move.

>>124763 Alps are just the safe horny degeneracy of these threads

>Kunoichi, bogie and krampus all appear on the same night to deal with that evil nasty anon >By pure coincidence Well, this is awkward

>>124766 I've got some tin cans and a few leftover candy canes. I can at least distract the goat so my bro Anon has a fighting chance. Or at least so he can make them work for it harder.

>>124765 still gay

>>124768 more boring as its a pritty shitty gimmik

>>124767 Anon is fucked, dude; as soon as they all realize that they're there for the same reason, they're going to mutually conclude that Anon is such a naughty person that it's going to take all their efforts combined to give him a sufficient punishment.

>>124770 Take turns sitting on him!

>>124770 Damn, time to walk away with my head low. Maybe the krampus has a sister or something.

>>124535 Joke’s on her I am only weak to the most hag Balrogs

>>124771 Sitting on him is Step One of the process Step Two is multiple hours of paizuri from all of them, Step Three through Five is each of them is going to have their own special punishment for Anon, Step Six is a short intermission, and then they're all going to come together again for the grand finale.

>>124772 Not sure about the krampus, but miss bogie definitely does. >>124697 Why settle for goth when you can have fluffy mofu goth?

>>124762 I wouldn't mind stroking a thick meaty tail or two

We need to talk about snek shedding. Seriously, why is it the moment they move into somewhere they start erecting a hut in the garden? Why? For what purpose? What are they doing in those sheds?

>>124778 Just let Apophis have her secret lair.

>>124779 >Have grape wife >Normal (as a grape can be) >Suddenly there is a structure at the bottom of the garden >Check it out >Apophis BARELY fitting in her hut/yurt/igloo/tepee/shed >Dark, save for an atmospheric lantern beneath her face >"WELCOME... to my LAIR." >*Dramatic hissing*

>>124778 I erect a small hut whenever I see snake tiddies, if you know what I mean

>>124780 looks like shes going to tell me my fortune

>>124780 >*Dramatic hissing* I would MELT in the arms of a snek who can dramatically hiss at me from her lair.

>>124782 She does palm reading! >Hmmm >Yes >I see it now >You are going to be feeling very horny momentarily >*nip* >Pull hand back >Fang pricks in the wrist

>>124780 She's not going to be satisfied with just a hut/yurt/igloo/tepee/shed for long, mind you; sooner or later, she's going to hire a gnome or two and before you know it your backyard's going to be home to your wife's own desert ruins.

>>124784 i could tell she was a fraud because i was already feeling very horny due to snake proximity

>>124782 Tea leaves suggest snakelets in your future

>>124787 We must protect the hatchlings.

Miss 'Pophis is cute.

>>124781 I'm sure she'll love your hut no matter how small it is.

>>124789 How about Miss ‘phis?

Childhood friend vs Lover from a past life.

>>124793 They should be one person.

>>124791 I wish I had a smol Apophis pic to show you for that query. Less letters = less size. STILL CUTE

>>124793 Childhood friend wins

>>124796 Only if she is very cool, like a wyvern or cheshire.

>>124793 Both

>>124796 Maybe alps aren't so bad

>>124799 Ironically, Miss Alp's NAME is Him-a-layah

>>124793 Oh well, time to start a harem.

>>124799 They are cool, they are into videogames, tabletop, working out, anime, manga, and everything you're also into, plus they leave your house spotless and can even help on relieving yourself like the best friend you can ever have!

>>124796 But I wore protection every time

>>124793 >Childhood friend: cute human girl >Lover from past life: parasite slime Both? Both. >>124804 This guy doesn't know the sewing needle trick.

>>124805 >This guy doesn't know the sewing needle trick. NTA, but I'm pretty sure only Ittan Momen use those to reproduce.

I need a kot who is willing and able to engage in crime

>>124807 a cat cares not about the laws of the land and only follow their own desires

>>124807 Based, especially if it's to protect her anon

>>124808 They are free beings, ready for mischief

Spooky cat, reveal at your own peril PAIN, why so stupid, help

>visiting MonTube for the first time >I bet it's nothing but sex stuff on there >"Small Human Tells How Safe He Feels Around You ASMR" >"Snuggling POV 10 hours compilation"

Dead hours

>>124816 Everyone knows the most degenerate thing all mgs crave is snuggles

>>124818 If only...

>>124818 and rape is just snuggle with a struggle

>>124819 oh gosh this poor anon i hope they don't do anything to him (that anon is me and I really fucking hope they do)

>>124816 They are fluffy for a reason!

>>124816 I recently started thinking about how monster girls would probably be drawing the humans they want and that it would severely change the way internet looks post-portals. Imagine stumbling across the perfect depiction of yourself on some art site, with a monster girl lamenting about how her perfect husbando apparently doesn't exist.

>>124826 It's literally unimaginable and it would feel like mockery or a joke

I want full body paizuri from a giant chesh

you've done it now anon

>>124697 i've spend all year scared and sad, there should be candy monsters instead

fucking pagan festivals. >"Fucking" pagan festivals.

>>124832 sexing your undead gf on a cemetery lit up by thousands of memorial candles > lame commercial festival of plastic shit peddled by the ((coons))

>>124830 >This turf is mine! Go find your own territory! Or something to that effect

>>124832 Oh, I know EXACTLY what to do with Miss Dryad! KOTS. KOTS IN THE TREE. SO MANY KOTS.

>>124826 >monster girl posting a picture of her new dakimakura on 4mon >literally (you) on the cover >already covered in kiss and bite marks

>>124833 Sex with the dead is the best

>>124830 time to show her how humans build nests (invite her to my house) in an attempt to raise her spirits and woo her. if that doesn't work i'll try dancing.

>>124816 >hand holding vids all require login to confirm age

>>124838 Dancing only works on spiders!

>>124826 Being on the receiving end of fictitiousness must be bizarre. You get isekai'd and find out you're a character in a slice of life manga or some autistic monster's OC. >>124830 Choosing a bad spot for a nest is on her.

>>124835 Anon as a kid must have really wanted to become a firefighter.

Anon, you're the only one who can do this. You must entered the bedchamber and stabilize the mofucore.

>>124842 No, I just need to put kots on things. Think about your life and when you were happiest. You probably had at least 1 kot on you!

>>124844 Based, always carry a kot

>>124843 Nah. I already stabilized a deem core and now i glow in the dark.

>>124844 If firefighters take cats off trees, do arsonists put cats on trees?

>>124843 If you follow standard insertion procedures, everything will be fine.

>>124848 I accidentally the fox

>>124840 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPhVOZiPokA it can work depending on the bird

>>124849 many such cases

>>124851 Can they reach orgasm from ear molesting?

>>124853 a gentle breeze may be enough

>>124854 I like fox with fox's paws

>>124855 i wish that was what separated youko from inari, the youkos paws further emphasizing their base urges

>>124855 Imagine Fox CuSith

>>124857 No. Not that shit

>>124857 Why would you shit up perfection that is fox with furshit?

>>124859 NTA, but I desire beeg fox correction.

>>124860 it's pretty good, probably

>>124861 As opposed to beeg Jinko correction, which is Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

>>124816 >"Small Human Tells How Safe He Feels Around You ASMR" >"Snuggling POV 10 hours compilation" This is softcore porn for Yetis

>>124862 How would one correct a jinko?

>>124864 they're so well-behaved it's never been an issue

I don't need correction but I absolutely need rape.

>>124857 A fox sith

true disipline is an anubis having the most serious experssion while daydreaming about getting railed

True disCipline is an Anubis having the most serious exPREssion while daydreaming about building a railway. Also, she mummy cursed anon, so he can't stop cumming.

>>124868 She can daydream all she wants, but if she doesn't stop being a controlling bitch and cowgirl her husband instead of overencumbering him with bullshit rules, her dreams are gonna remain dreams.

>>124865 Fair, they're good girls

i like to think gnomes like being underground with only their uper head visible

>>124873 >be anon >take a walk through the woodland >oh, a nice, pleasantly smelling fruit! >take that fruit >it was growing from a gnome's hair >somewhat unhappy gnome pops up from the underground, restrains you >now you're husband to a gnome

>>124848 Anon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional

Dragonian dragon tourguide embarrassed and blushing and not sure what to do because the anon in the tavern is a sub with no interest in mereing dragons. The two of them keep inviting the other to make the first move and neither is doing it!

>>124843 >mofucore Sounds like a metalcore subcategory. Possibly pioneered by a band with a name like Foxbreed

>>124876 Anon isn't supposed to mere the dragon, the dragon is supposed to mere Anon. >this followed by the dragon cowgirling the tourist

>>124879 Wrong, anons are supposed to mere the dragon

>>124880 Wrong, anons are supposed to be mered by dragons if that would make the anon happy.

>>124876 can they just get a room and fuck on equal terms? or find someone else if they're not a match. jeez, what is the Eros Embassy doing in Dragonia, this is sloppy work (and not a fun kind of sloppy)!

>>124881 Exactly my thought, I liked MGE precisely because MGE is full of soft, gentle femdom. If someone wants to assert their dominance, they can do this with their own girls within their own space, sure, but I'm not sharing a realm with those things.

>>124881 Fair, that's would be the perfect scenario

>>124883 >I'm not sharing a realm with those things Pocket dimensions are made for you.

>>124882 Dragons can be sometimes a bit on the tsun side, so it's normal for them to be awkward with their man for a while. It passes naturally with time, though.

>>124885 I'm not getting into any of your pocket dimensions. Where I live, girls are strong and gentle, and anons who'd like to mere someone are forcibly rejected and thrown back to where they came from (or, if they persist, into a WH40K-based world).

>>124887 Nah, they will eat a raging mushroom or go the normal romance path and enjoy life in MGE. Don't stress it, mate.

>>124886 >Anon has been with his dragon wife for decades >they have 6 children and 3 grandchildren >she “kyaaaaaas” above him NIGHTLY >still insists that none of that proves she likes him

>>124886 At least wyverns are honest!

>>124889 That's too much tsun even for an ancient evil tier dragon. Are you sure you aren't confusing her with a vampire living down in the mansion 300 miles away?

>>124888 And that's what happens in your personal MGE utopia!

>>124892 Anon is weak to blushing, indignant dragons. Let him have this.

>>124893 We will be neighbors.

>>124895 No.

>>124889 Maybe she truly doesn't like him. It must be hard to live with that thought after years.

>>124897 Either that, or what >>124894 says.

>>124889 >Anon is responsible at least in part for 9 more dragons fool! we'll never win now.

>>124899 Great! 9 more dommy momimes for me!

need more dragon maids

>>124897 I dunno, performative tsundere behavior could just be considered a courtship display in dragon culture.

>>124901 Yup but half of them would be zombie dragons

>>124902 >"You mere human, did you really think I would have any romantic feelings for someone as lowly as you?" >"okay, enough flirting. Fuck me, right now"

>>124902 >>124904 Hope that culture and language book on tsun drags are easily available..

Other than dragons, what other mamono would be fun to see as a maid? I would personally vote for Miss Dhampir (who would do all her cleaning duties while doing all manner of aerobatics), Miss Dark Mage (who would almost certainly just clean using magic) or Miss Wight (who would honestly just look stunning in a French maid's outfit.)

>>124906 Lich, floating maid

>>124906 Oni. She can reach high up places and clean under furniture by lifting it with one hand.

>>124907 I def see the potential there; she wouldn't necessarily be the best about wearing the uniform, considering her usual lackadasical approach to clothes in general.

>>124908 Which kind, red or blue? Or both, both is good.

>>124906 Disagree on dhampir, but an anubis maid would be fun. Would like to see that orderly bitch get stuck with what she is best at: cleaning and organizing stuff.

>>124909 I thought that she would wear a french maid uniform and levitate a bit too high or bent at a certain angles

>>124911 Why do you disagree about Miss Dhampir being a maid?

>>124913 The only kind of a maid duty she could (and should) be doing is polishing my dick. Aside from costumed maidplay, I don't like the thought of a free-spirited dhampir being constrained to a actual duty of some support personnel. The anubis, however, would find herself right at home doing boring, repetitive chores...

>>124906 Jinko for obvious reasons, pyrow for that slightly bratty but really friendly experience, unagi joro because I fucking love eels, demons because a seductress maid slowly corrupting her master sounds hot.

>>124915 Jinko maids are already canon in my head

>>124914 That logic is entirely fair; I mostly went with her because I really fucking like dhampirs and figured that she would rock the outfit.

>>124915 Miss Pyrow would probably be a pretty crappy maid who'd half-ass all her jobs and keep sneaking off for smoke breaks, but I'd still want her as a maid.

>>124914 Think outside the box. Why would a Dhampir pick a maid profession in the first place? It wouldn't be because it's an easy way to infiltrate a vampire's home. She certainly wouldn't be making meals where its heavy garlic for the vampire and heavy raging mushrooms for her husband's portions. No siree, no plans within plans here!

>>124918 They do seem like they'd only work for people who don't really need a maid in the first place, but depending on the flavor of gyaru they take they could still be decent. Or it could be a hag pyrow who's had responsibility beaten into her by life.

Have you heard about the latest FOTM anime that's breaking records in MGC? The one with landlord Anon renting house he inherited from his grandma to a bunch of dysfunctional cats with all kinds of addictions? Haha I sure do hope landlord Anon doesn't take advantage of their addictions and financial troubles!

>>124893 No, what he's describing happens in canon MGE

>>124906 Fairy. She might not be very good at it but it would be cute to watch her try.

>>124924 Well, it wouldn't be just one fairy, would it? Even if you hired just one, other fairies would get curious and want to try it themselves, so you'd probabaly have hundreds of them flying around and cleaning things.

>>124926 PIKMIN

>>124926 >Anon has fairies >Anon suddenly has no sugar of any kind in his home >Buys another bag >gone within hours

>>124922 I head about it, it was a depressing watch

>>124925 >you take a demon contract to a different lawyer to have it looked over >you don't legalese too good so it would be nice to have a second opinion >the lawyer couldn't be another deem of course, they're all in cahoots >this one hasn't stopped smiling since you showed it to her though, and didn't really offer any counterpoints or revisions >maybe all the lawyers in this town are in cahoots >the tanuki must be behind this

>>124906 Kuuderes and/or tomboys

>>124931 tomboys...

>>124931 Undead maids are the best, specially Zombies

>>124930 >>this one hasn't stopped smiling since you showed it to her though She saw the "fruity friday" section and couldn't help herself. The delightful mess involved in the details didn't help matters, either. Hope you're not diabetic.

In the old days they used blood magic to bind a dragon to a rider, but these days the process is a lot less painful.

>>124918 >>124931 maybe i dont need a maid, just a roommate to split rent and chores, and to hang out with.

Miss dragon is right. I WOULD look good in a collar.

>>124930 I like the nukis though, wouldn't mind having a couple of children and making a family with one

>dragon wife says the kids are just play fighting and there's nothing to worry about >meanwhile the surrounding countryside looks like a nuclear test site

>>124939 And now you know why she didn't want to leave her cave. At least until the girls are a little older.

I must rape.

>>124931 r u d y u d y

>>124941 I must grape

>>124879 sometimes it's unclear whomst is mereing whomst

>>124943 I must jape

You shouldn't be mereing. You should be HEREing (here for your dragon)

>>124944 Humans can't be mered, we're all mere male apes once our dick is hard or there'sa chance someone may make it hard. It's the normal state of a man.

>dummy dragon childhood friend tries to impress you by cooking with her breath >but she just incinerates everything >she then tries to claim that she was actually just trying to show off how powerful and terrifying she is and totally intended to completely incinerate the food and melt the pan into slag from the beginning

>>124947 Humans are born mered. It is the natural order. Most just don't realise it until they get reminded properly.

>>124949 That's mean that human can ascend but dragon can only fall from grace, that's silly

>>124950 That makes perfect sense. Dragons are the personification of strength and can only go down from there, meanwhile even humans like to imagine themselves as the plucky upstart.

>>124948 >she then tries to claim that she was actually just trying to show off how powerful and terrifying she is and totally intended to completely incinerate the food and melt the pan into slag from the beginning >she's a really bad liar and is making a face like that while saying it

>>124816 >reptile grooming guide are all the rage >scale brushing asmr >top ten brushes for scales >what grade grinding stone to use >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anBTeCyXyog

>>124948 As with all skills, mastery requires practice

>>124944 People are always like "dragon zombies are mere lizards" until they get raped by a dragon zombie.

>>124955 Serves anon right for doing necromancy without a license.

>>124955 And they're technically correct because her reptile brain skips more complex social interactions and goes straight to rape.

>>124906 Miss Yeti has a thorough maid itinerary >cuddle master >cook hot pot for dinner >shovel snow >cuddle master >chop wood for fireplace >knit a sweater for master >cuddle master some more

>>124925 Can I use my own pen or do I have to use hers?

>>124959 In just a month and a half it'll be her and Miss Whitehorn's time of year.

>>124961 Her ice prison is melting...

>>124950 Bullshit. Nothing's preventing a dragon from gaining even more strength. Face it, humans' fate is being dragons' bait.

>>124963 human: >I'm going to use guns as a crutch to fend off mamono and level the playing field! monster: >oh, let me show you the fun trick where I fire this .50 cal rifle one-handed and score a bullseye

>>124964 OK, that's just really sexy, and I could see why a mamono would show off in that way.

>>124964 >automaton punching anon's own bullets back at him

I’m going to marry the shogun lilim.

>>124968 Sho' Nuff!

routine maid inspection

>>124972 its only fair that they get to do a mastah inspection... at 3 am... after breathing heavily on his sleeping face...

>>124968 >marry a shotgun lilim >it's gonna be a shotgun wedding

>>124964 me: I'm gonna use mamono with guns to fend off other mamono, the ones I don't like.

>>124975 >You hired kikis with guns to protect you >Anubiseseseses with guns show up >They all geek out about gun maintenance >One of the Anubises mentions Equilibrium >Within an hour they're all best friends, eating popcorn and watching Equilibrium in your living room >YOU, meanwhile, are being raped RELENTLESSLY by the oomukade who snuck in while they weren't paying attention.

>>124479 >>124481

>>124983 Absolutely majestic, like a dragon should be

>>124982 Imagine having an affair with sensei while cheating on her with my bro

>>124985 Cheating isn't good, just be open about it and create a harem instead

>>124983 >great effort! That applies to you as well LN. You've definitely improved over the years. Thanks for all the art, buddy! Your artfairy must be very proud of you!

>>124982 It is even lewder when the file covers the bewbs

>>124498 >>124499

>>124988 I would if her tail was thicker, still I'm pretty sure we would have a lot of fun together just hanging around

>>124989 Lol that's literally a boy

>>124991 I would gladly impregnate that boy, that body with a pregnant belly would be the pinnacle of monster beauty

>>124989 She looks very kuul

>>124994 nerf ribbed sweaters

>>124995 They're already plenty soft. That's a large part of the problem.

>>124994 >mindflayers can play with and rewire brains >this means they can actually restore lost senses and repair damage from things like strokes and concussions I never thought of it that way. Damn LN

>>124997 it'd be fun to share senses with a mindflayer, take off my glasses and have her be like "what the fuck how are your eyes so bad"

>>124997 Trusting a mindflayer to just fix what's wrong and leave you be is a tall order when you know the kind of things they do. Having a damaged brain might be preferable

>>124999 >the kind of things they do she's partial to knitting i bet

>>125000 I meant body horror but horrible knitted pullover are also a problem

>>124999 How could you not trust this?

>>125002 They turn you into a squid if you're not married

>>125003 you can also turn back when you feel like it

>>125003 You might like being a squid

>>125005 I've never heard a squid say they were unhappy.

>>125006 They don't like to bother people with their problems.

>>125007 That's not true. Trick is, rather than complaining about it they just crack open a ship or two and rape a sailor until neither of them have problems anymore.

>>125008 Don't use boat in MGE, got it Are planes dangerous?

>>125009 Planes are where the gremlins hang out, and sometimes wyverns attack them for entering her territory. Flying is still the safest way to travel until it isn't.

>>125009 >Are planes dangerous? Abaddons are known to crash them with no survivors.

Cartographers are all "here there be dragons," but no one ever talks about the booming kraken population in the middle of the freaking channel. It really makes you think.

>>125013 Dragons will pick a spot and stair Lairzing and Hoarding it up. Krakens move about and could be anywhere. Even below your boat right now. But probably not. That's just a gentle current rocking it. Probably.

>>125012 For winged monsters, they don't fly so good.

You can never be too sure if hebis are slightly jealous

>>125017 >DID Hebi thinks you are cheating on her with her other personality

Thinking about enormous, room-sized fox tails.

>>124989 >>124992 >"wait, so you're a boy?" >"nope, but I can make one with you"

>live alone >go to work >come back home >feline mamono is lounging on my couch, watching TV >acts like we've been sharing this apartment and when pressed, says something about a "cat distribution system" and to not worry about it >insists on curling up on top of my stomach when it's time to sleep, even though it's summer and hot at night How do I get her to at least help out with the rent or chores?

>>125021 Ask her? Or you can wait and until she realises that you're turning into a overworked husk, ready to die of a heart attack at any moment but it will be too late. Also you're lucky, getting a feline delivered at home is cool

>>125020 I'm sorry but she's a monster, no matter how many times she tries she can't make a baby boy

>>125023 Love, uh, finds a way

If you're visiting a bar in a port town and one of the guests is very obviously a disguised kraken, the safest move is to just not acknowledge it. Everyone else sees her as well but they can't do anything about her so they're all trying not to get her attention, and if you're smart you'll do the same thing.

>>125025 Why would they want to do anything about her? Girl's just trying to get some booze in her

>>124989 This one's been skipping the nachos on Halo night. >>124994 Mindflayers... are a healer class?

>>125026 >Girl's just trying to get some booze in her And some other fluids

If not fren, why fren shaped?

>>125029 to trick you into getting close

I sincerely doubt a succubus could lick my balls.

>>125023 She can also win the baby lottery, who knows

>At dawn, the damages were discovered >The Pharaoh's statue has been covered in toiled paper >a graffitti on the pedestal proclaimed the party responsible <The Purple Asp strikes again! Curse this clever fiend! We shall never catch her.

>>125033 Lemme ask my wife, who is purple. ... She says it's not her.

>>125033 >Tomboy apophis who isn't very responsible >Enjoys being a menace >"If I was in charge" but doesn't want to BE in charge >Somehow, by pure happenstance, manages to bite pharaoh >Awesome! >...shit >shitshitshitshitshitshit i dont wanna be pharaoh i dont wanna be pharaoh ANON HELP

>>125035 I would be too sad and jealous to help. Imagine thinking your wife loves you, but she bites someone else! That is CHEATING. CHEATING OF THE HIGHEST ORDER.

>>125036 it was an instinct bite! self defence!

>>125036 It doesn't count if it's another girl

>>125035 <Anon you have to suck the venom out >What? <I saw this on TV, the only way to stop it is to suck the venom out >What kind of TV shows have you been watching? <Anon the venom is spreading, there's no time to argue about it

>>125035 too late miss hiss, the pharaoh is nothing more than mere pleasure slave, your in charge now, and would you look at that, the 'nubis are already rolling out the meter high stacks of paperwork you've got to go through

>>125037 She can call it whatever she wants, but maybe she should consider his feelings too. The truth is, humans can actually die if you don't bite them every day, yet she has enough venom to go around biting other monsters? That's kinda messed up.

>>125039 >FINE. OKAY!? Where's the bite? <Huh? >The bite. Where's the bite? <Oh. Uh... well here, here, here, here, oh here too, and there, and there... there... >WHAT DID YOU DO? <I'M SORRY *nervous hissing* just pick a hole and suck Meanwhile pharaoh is giggling and blushing like a juiced up jub

>>125035 She can just let the graped Pharaoh keep running the country, she won't do a worse job than most politicians IRL.

Yay it's Friday and auntsters know it, they are already preparing and warming up for you so do your best at work today!

>>125041 THANK YOU! You get it. Humans need snek bites to live, and suddenly your own wife starts giving out freebies to the local politicians? AWFUL move on her part. Say what you will about hebis, they would NEVER put Anons into positions like this.

>>125040 noooo she's a free-spirit! they can't do this to her. it's inhumane! >>125041 >Humans can actually die if you don't bite them every day This may not be true, but if I were a human, I wouldn't want to risk it. I'd just let an apophis bite me every evening.

>>125043 >Anubis whispering to each other privately >"Hasn't she been a bit odd, lately?" >"She was touching herself while I was reading out the grain report. I mentioned endosperm and I'm pretty sure that started it. And finished it." Coming to cinemas, The Empress' New Goon.

>>125040 Time for anon to take the lead and work for hours, leaving now time for sleep nor friendship

>>125046 >I'd just let an apophis bite me every evening. Q1H bites or I die

>>125049 Snake hospital is a strange and erotic place I wish to be sent to. Being a doctor there isn't much better, because the snek nurses and snek patients also are sexually aggressive.

>>125050 The 'yip squad will sheer up into healthiness

>>125051 Cure for depression is fluffy constriction.

>>125044 After portals open I want to mysteriously be part of an undead family, in which my Zombie auntsters are always young and supple despite rotting away a little, but with my constant "injections" of mana I end up healing their wounds and making them a little more lively By the way that also applies to my momster and grandmomster, I will love my family

>>125052 Yes, the kotspital made a great paper on it. I wish I could test it out

>>125054 Proven to be amazingly effective with canines too, in fact.

>>125055 Yes, depending of the anon, feline or canine have stronger effect but both are effective. Soon birds will be tested too

Over the centuries, miss lich has learned to prefer quality over quantity in her undead minions. Raising one wight costs more than raising a hundred zombies, but wights are capable of grasping advanced magical theory and zombies struggle with grasping test tubes. The only downside is that she hasn't figured out how to stop her new minion from taking her to fancy social events.

>>125055 This but large adult Anubis.

>>125057 I will simply complain until she provides bitey catghoul wife

>>125057 Wight minion can change her boss' mind if she serves as her wingwoman in one of those social events.

>>125057 Why go to all that effort of raising a single wight when she can raise however many zombies and give them all Anons to marry? It'll take a bit longer, true, but by the end of it she'll have as many wights as she wants for a fraction of the cost of raising one the hard way.

>>125057 >Wight right hand woman gives her boss advice >try this dress, these shoes have heels that look good with your height, put this ornament in your hair >"If the purpose of this party is to attract a male, wouldn't it be more efficient for me to be naked as usual?" >NO

>>125063 Smart wight, the lich will be married in no time

>>125053 >>125057 I don't think that zombies would make good auntsters since they probably suck at videogames and are mediocre at or incapable of cooking, on the other hand I bet wights and liches would excel at those things making them excellent aunties for Friday celebrations

That marshmallow feeling

>>125066 Amorphous catloaf hours.

>>125067 miss grape is something of an amorphous loaf herself.

Grape is a high tier snake for looking after cats (not kots). A low tier snake is medusa and echidna, because her poor snek hairs get tormented relentlessly by the cat.

>>125069 A grape can't be surrounded by kots? Sad news

>>125071 no that's just a separate discussion. I would like all snakes to be able to have a cat if they want one, I just found the mental image of a cat pawing at their tail or snakehair amusing.

>>125072 I am imagining a medusa whose snek hair loves her kot and the kot lays on her pillow at night and snuggles with her snek hair. Sneks love the rumbly purr of content kot.

It's getting cold outside. You should let the wasps in. You will certainly not regret having 1000 tsundere wasps inside your house.

>>125074 bees do it better

>>125075 Bees aren’t tsun, though.

>>125074 >Fine, you can all sleep in my bed, but you'd better not shrink me down to your size and rape me. <If we shrank you, you wouldn't produce enough body heat to keep us warm. Idiot.

>>125077 Can I be shrank and toyed with by one giant wasp?

>>125077 I need a tsun girl to call me an idiot and bite me with her wasp bites.

>>125074 overwintering is serious business. you should let the faeries in

>>125080 “Overwintering” sounds like the Ice Queen version of powerlifting.

How did all these girls survive the winter before "anon's house" became a viable tactic?

>>125082 They went to Miss succ’s house

>>125065 No such thing, auntie Zombie always does her best!

>>125082 winter isnt real, its a plot by ice queens to get monsters into anon house

The only guaranteed way for a snake to survive winter is to partner up with a toasty monster (such as a hellhound) and then coil her up with anon in a cosy three person ball. Hebi and jealous snakes can use a hot water bottle.

>>125086 So you're saying that this whole time Apophis was just trying to steal Pharaoh's body heat?

>>125087 Deserts get awfully cold at night.

>>125074 >tsundere They can stay outside and freeze for all I care.