>the announcer declares the beginning of the match
>35 frags, 15 minute time limit, and your teams start in separate parts of the station
>it would only take less than a minute for one team to cross to the other, though
>doggamnit, you’ve got to find a place to hide, fast!
>oh, a vent shaft!
>fucking motherfuckingly fuck, it’s shut
>okay, cast opensesame on this one…
>the vent grate unscrews itself and falls down on the floor
>the loud sound might’ve alerted someone of your presence there, but you doubt anybody would hear it as the sounds of fighting down below are much louder
>you know, it’s very good that all that intense sex with your dhampir wives doesn’t allow you to build much fat in your body
>that vent shaft barely fits you in
>on the other hand, chances are that those large, muscular girls simply won’t fit in the shaft, guaranteeing you safety long as you stay there
<Iron Fist 7 – Bloodguards 5
>you stay in the vent shaft as the girls keep fighting
>slowly, but steadily, the lizards are gaining lead on your girls
>the dhampirs seemingly try their best, but it is clear they’re somewhat outmatched there
<Iron Fist 12 – Bloodguards 9
>ugh, it doesn’t feel like you’re going to make it
>what’s the point of staying in this tight-ass vent shaft if you’re gonna lose, anyway?
>come to think of it, these matches are 100% non-lethal
>what are you going to risk, really?
>you slowly crawl through the vents towards the battle arena
<Iron Fist 18 – Bloodguards 13
>there’s a massive fight going on in one of the corridors
>three lizards, fiercely advancing on two dhampir girls
>your girls are holding up, for now
>you carefully land in an adjacent room and pull out a grenade
>silencing your moves, you pull out the ring and time the throw carefully
>one second ‘til explosion and the lizards are right outside the door
>you quickly lob the grenade at them
>confused and disoriented, they can’t react in time as the grenade blows up right in the middle of their group, knocking both of them down and severely reducing the other one’s hit points
>the dhamps quickly dispatch her and come over to pick their weapons when they notice you
<”Anon? What the fu--”
>and oh what a joy, just in time you see two more lizards coming from behind them
>you’re too slow to warn them, they gun down the dhamps before you finish your warning
>and, they notice you too
>ooh shit, you’re so f--
>wait, you’ve got a couple mines
>you place one right next to the entrance and quickly hide in a cabinet
>the lizards enter the room, paying no care towards any possible traps
>a loud KA-BOOM followed by two THUDS informs you that they’ve been dealt with successfully
<Iron Fist 20 – Bloodguards 18
>now it’s time for you to have some fun, too
>quietly crawling through the corridors, listening for any potential dangers, you look for any lizards
>they have superior reflexes, strength and speed, but they don’t expect a stealth-attack
<Iron Fist 22 – Bloodguards 22
>you pick the less attentive ones one by one, finding the right time and place to strike
>sometimes you distract them with a noise, and then back-stab or gun them
>other times you use mines or carefully-timed attacks
>couple minutes later, and your team is now leading
<Iron Fist 27 – Bloodguards 29
>finally the musclebrained lizards realize what’s going on
>you can hear one of them radioing the other team-members
<”Everyone, focus on taking out Anon! And watch yourselves around there, this sneaky bastard’s using stealth and tactics against us!”
>uh oh
>seems like you’re their primary target now
>the lizards grouped into two squads, four of them in each one
>doggamnit, this tactic is surprisingly effecting against your team
>they quickly and effectively deal with the dhamps, who mostly wander alone or in groups of two
>munch on a couple mana pickups to restore their hit-points and they’re good as new again
<Iron Fist 33 – Bloodguards 31
>and what great luck, one of these groups just found you lurking in one of the rooms!
>they stare at you, hot and bothered, drooling rom both mouths
<”Well Anon you’re gonna know what it means when they say “you’re fucked”~~~”
>wait, no time to be a slowass
>you quickly overload a ceiling lamp, plunging the room into darkness
>while the lizards are confused, you run past them, throw a chem-grenade into the room and lock it
>the lizards, one by one, slowly melt from the pink, pleasure-inducing gas
<Iron Fist 33 – Bloodguards 32
<Iron Fist 33 – Bloodguards 33
<Iron Fist 34 – Bloodguards 34>the last thump from the room signifies your victory, and the defeat of the lizard team
<Iron Fist 34 – Bloodguards 35
>hooray, you’re the winnur!!!
>you all meet up after the match
>everybody is visibly confused, to say the least
>neither your wives nor your opponents have expected you to be the key factor in Bloodguards’ victory
<”You-- How you-- This is impossible!”
>at last, the captain of the opposing team speaks up
<”Hmph! Very well, we admit defeat just this once. But, just you wait until the next match! The next time you get paired with us, assuming you won’t drop out before that, we’re going to kick your asses harder than we ever did!”
<”Hm-hmm~ That you maybe will~ But, you know what~”
>the captain of your team approaches the lizard captain, and puts her hand on her shoulder
<”Do you perhaps remember what happened when you beat us in our last match~?”
>the captain assumed a smug expression, remembering that thing they did
<”Oh yesss~, we remember? How did it feel, to be raped by us in front of your husband and the entire single female audience~?”
>your wife assumes a similar smug expression
<”Oh~, about that… You see, we have just won this match against you~, and~”
>she leads you closer to the lizard captain
<”Well, Anon, honey~, … fuck this bitch, and have the entire single monster audience see it~ And then do the rest of her bitchy team~~”
>the lizard captain immediately lies down and spreads her legs
<”Oh woe is me, we have lost to the Bloodguards! We're all going to be passionately railed by this deliciously cutie boy hehehe~ ”