>>68359 >anon single-dickedly pulling tigers out of brink of extinction by failing to pull out

I've been thinking about it, and there's a lot of monstergirls that never see any discussion here. Like mice. We were talking about cheese before and they didn't even get mentioned.

>>68360 You can't pull out when girl on top, and it's a known fact that girl on top is best sex because bouncy boobies and femdom.

>>68361 I'm not too into the harem thing that's usually associated with them. Give me a BIG RAT who wears leather jackets and spiked bracelets though.

Jinko so big and heavy and fluffy that you cannot possibly move if she decides to sleep ontop of you, or your face between her boobs, or sits on your face. Of course, it is very cold and lonely out there, so you are happy to be pinned under her.

>>68363 Anon, you can't handle a biker rat that takes you to death metal concerts in her sidecar.

>>68364 >you are happy to be pinned under her. That was exactly what I was going to say after reading the first line. I know Jinkos are very considerate and she wouldn't want me to be uncomfortable, but being under her in bed would be the best place for me.

Name my band.

>>68368 Throat burn.

I need manticore rape fics IMMEDIATELY. I feel like I've read all of them

>>68370 >Manticore yoinks a passerby into an alleyway >Strips his pants off and plaps away at him >He cooms >In the aftermath, he shows her his Certified Cat Slut badge >Doesn't count as rape >Doesn't pass Go >Doesn't collect 200 dollars FOILED AGAIN, DUMB DUMB

>>68371 What kind of organization certifies mansluts for different species... Oh, wait, it's their year after all.

i havent been here in a while. the abbadon is peak and im sad i missed their release. whats the consensus on them?

>>68373 Abaddon. 1 b, 2 d's.

>>68373 Big girl 4 me

>>68374 No, abba-don. They made a 70s inspired band. >>68373 Sexo bug that kuus at you.

>>68373 Great boog, thicc and perfect fit for baneposting.

>>68368 Bros before hoes

>>68373 eat me hive mommy

>>68373 They make great auntsters

Nightmare will teach you how to enter your wife's dreams so there's absolutely no privacy whatsoever and you can be together 24/7 Note: this technique is most effective and useful against sleepy mamono such as dormouse or kots

>>68373 I dunno if they're going to be super-popular, but I think they're a top tier boog. 1. Beeg. Canonically amongst the biggest mamono. 2. Boog. Canonically a boog. 3. Thicc. Just look at how they're drawn! 4. FOUR arms. Finally. And just in general, I like their personalities--they're nice, a little ditzy, and they're basically always down to clown. Also FOUR ARMS means TWICE THE CUDDLES. More cuddle per mamono is good!

>>68382 >Entire Cheshire wife's dreams >Her dreams are just cuddling with you while eating cheeseburgers and shitposting online >Now you always have a hard time knowing when you actually woke up in the morning

I NEED a kot to PET ME

>>68383 What if she hugs you and doesn't let you go?

>>68387 you accept your new place in the world!

>>68387 But that's what I want, Anon. I am very lonely and would immediately lose to hugs.

>>68383 dragons have 4 arms

>>68373 i didn't know KC could draw them big and thick like that. delightful watermelon crushing thighs. would latch on to

i've got that kiki fever

>>68389 Same, I wish Zombies existed because I would run immediately to the nearest graveyard to lure one home to at least have some company in my life

I just came here to say that hellhounds SUCK. They can't get a man for shit. HA!

>>68389 many such cases

>>68370 Who rapes who?

>>68386 Goodbye anon

>>68397 it's more about the journey than the destination

>>68399 Ms Manticore please. For the last time. If you are a bus driver, it's all about the destination. You can't just take anon to your home at the end of the shift just because you went through all other stops except the last one.

>>68390 I thought everybody had forearms.

>>68360 "Failing" implies that he tried in the first place. You're being silly.

>>68390 wings count as legs

>>68402 ms cheshire is all about pranks until anon pulls out at the last second

>>68398 This is medical malpractice.

>>68405 If it works... >>68399 So a coin flip?

>>68404 If she can't teleport her pussy before you cum it's a skill issue

>lilim wife asks me what humans of this world mean when they say "the devil" >try to explain it in a way that she would easily understand >explain that he's our version of the former mamono lord >lilim wife now wants to overthrow Lucifer I don't know how to handle this.

>>68391 this was honestly my first thought. shes fucking massive and im very happy about it. i like my monsters bigger than me, stronger than me, and extremely imposing.

>>68410 MORE MAMONO = MORE TO HUG

>>68412 the math checks out

You shouldn't lust after bugs anon. It's unhealthy.

>>68412 This is why hags are the huggable monsters available

>>68414 OK, more bug hugs for me, then.

>>68414 >When her enrage timer triggers.

>>68414 you got to appreciate the four tactical lunchboxes (1 for each hand) she takes her lunchbreak very seriously

>>68418 How else is she going to keep those absolutely massive thighs of hers?

>>68408 >Go on epic quest to defeat Lucifer >Make a bunch of friends and have wonderful experiences as you go >Discover the whole thing was a joke millions of people were (and somehow continue to be) in on >Have cool stories to tell your daughters about why they're all citizens of different countries The real Lucifer was the friends you made along the way.

>>68362 >it's a known fact that girl on top is best sex OBJECTION

>>68421 She's metaphorically on top.

>>68421 mamano leglock is the way things were meant to be

>>68417 It's more like. <Please talk to me and my daughter. Or else...

>>68423 >mamano leglock Well, technically that is how mamono becomes mamano, yes

>>68421 I disagree

>>68426 Child obesity is no joke

>>68427 It's serious business. Professional business even.

>>68427 Baphos are not obese, just properly proportionate

>>68392 What is babayaga feeding those little kikis to turn them into absolute milky goddesses

How long should you tease you wife before ravaging her? Minutes? Hours? Days?

>>68431 That's all her husband's "mana" going to the right places.

>>68432 I would only tease my wife if she asked me to nicely. So however long she asks me to.

>>68433 damn, he is a lucky guy to get her as his childhood friend

>>68435 i mean, one glance at her mom and i think you know what the future has in store for her

>>68426 I wouldn't mind having a Bapho ass like that on my face

>>68429 Pear shaped little girls are the best

>>68420 it better not turn out that the real monstergirl was inside me all along

>>68421 best sex is whatever allows the most skin to skin contact. its also why slimes and snakes are absolutely unbeatable under some circumstances.

>>68440 No, but you were inside the real monstergirl for a large part of your journey.

>>68442 sandworms are good for fast travel

>>68443 Fast? No, you want wyverns for that. Comfy? Yes. She's a recreational vehicle, and one of the recreations she offers is sex.

>>68444 yeah, but you have to stop and refuel wyverns way too much. such a hassle

>>68440 >the real monstergirl was inside me all along

>>68446 >no anonymous, you are the monsters >and then anon Alped

>>68445 >You and your wife rent a wyvern to get from one end of Dragonia to the other >Her husband is riding her and you and the Mrs. are in her talons >She's landing every 20-30 minutes to get plapped. >Your Anubis wife looks mildly irked >Internally, you know she is seething.

>>68448 And this is why you perform regular maintenance on your wyvern, to improve her speed and performance. Get to your location before the 30 minute timer runs out

>>68449 THAT'S JUST MORE SEX WITH HER HUSBAND. WYVERNS ARE TOO HORNY.

>>68441 I agree about the full contact sex, that's why under the covers is the best because it helps produce and contain all that sweat and bodily fluids extending the surface of contact between both individuals like how thermal paste is used on top of a processor.

>>68449 would she really get a fake check engine light just to have more sex? (probably)

This is why you become a wizard. Easy transport anywhere.

>>68453 Eh, I would rather become wisp-chan's occupant.

>>68453 this utter fool focused on correspondence in mge, point and laugh

>>68455 Teleportation is only one of the many advantages of dominating the magic arts.

>>68449 Wow, a cut rate service that can't even manage in-air refueling? That does sound unpleasant. Of course, I've heard the ride can get a bit bumpy while she's taking on mana, but that's the price you pay for speed.

>>68457 A lot of wyverns marry men who are terrified of heights. They REALLY don't like to do mid-air refueling.

>>68453 Yeah but Shirukuto's lot have been cracking down hard on unlicensed wizards ever since the wizard wars. It's not impossible but it's way harder than it used to be.

Would you love me if I were a wurm?

>>68451 But the cleaning...

>>68453 Wrong, you should get a BTR and install a mana canon

>>68432 Until they cannot take it anymore and they rape you, of course.

>>68463 >guy didnt fuck his milky holst for a month holy shit how I couldnt last a week, the sheer of this guy to not give in and molest cow tits is amazing

>>68464 Maybe she doesn't have enough legs?

>>68426 But the picture you posted clearly shows the sex would be better from behind with that bapho down on all fours

>>68463 Meh, the goal would be to be on the edge but still on control when you release her sexualy

>>68466 I want to see a girl's face during sexy times. Then I know for sure that she has nothing but contempt for me in her heart.

>>68468 Mating press it is then, embrace your lust and dominate the fat assed lolis

So, I finally got my story submitted. I got to the point where if I kept fiddling with it, it would never get posted. In any case, I hope you guys enjoy it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/77450576 Also, the story has optional music. You can listen to those tracks here: 1. https://youtu.be/zvVDTZlEkyA?si=aS_U2WOUzCLqc-pC 2. https://youtu.be/TgV9OcaMEI4?si=LaeKOAdsLsNcQLSM 3. https://youtu.be/rGymoVxZJRw?si=Xspa4QS8Z-aLewe_ 4. https://youtu.be/sU2y69UwzIw?si=4C04_VTEVJP9raqz 5. https://youtu.be/uZbpdPtpgAA?si=23ttculVqlmkTrJ1 6. https://youtu.be/dZdLc_2jUsI?si=tbXZSvlYLhcgChYd

>>68468 >guy who wants his wife to look at him like he's trash but also she's a devilbug is this a thing?

>>68471 Oh cool, a story with a soundtrack.

I need a medic, teleport all your cheshs in my bed now.

>>68474 But this patient needs mouse bites to live

>>68474 I would like a Troll to take care of me with a lewd nurse outfit, I bet her cooking would be amazing too

>>68475 No, give me chesh's signature licking and purrjob. It's the only way to cure my brain smoothness

>>68476 She would be both very lewd and a professional who can heal most injuries and diseases

>>68478 >She would be very lewd The outfit can't contain her body or her body odor, please understand.

>>68463 i love her face in the 3rd panel. monsters with barely restrained lust are the best kind of monster.

>>68480 A mix and switch between lovey-dovey sex and unrestrained lust is peak

>>68463 >>68480 >>68481 This is why incest happens in monster society, a monster even if blood related living with his essence and smell of mana around monsters, eventually gets raped since monster have an instinct to follow, they fight it but eventually they lose the fight

>>68482 Wut? No? Are you drunk?

>>68480 moments_before_disaster.jpg

>>68408 Actually Lucifer would be more like a super-powered dark angel rather than a "former monster lord". If you want a former monster lord, you go for something like fenrir, or maybe one of the ancient greek monsters (the hydra?)

>>68484 >That kiki face Maybe réincarnation could be cool

>>68484 Those birb and fox lovers are going to get EXACTLY what they're after.

>>68487 activating a monster's counter-move is important. this is where i would post a picture of slapping a big hellhound on the ass (if i had one)

>>68488 What monsters don't know is that you can negate their counter by molesting their ears.

Remember to let your kiki know she's doing a good job by petting her.

>>68485 Lernean Hydra wasn't even important enough in the Greek myths to be mentioned outside of the labors of Herakles. Think bigger. Like the Titans, or Fomorians.

>>68471 that's a well spoken moth. i tend to imagine them being dopier

>>68492 Titans are many and vary in power. If you want something like that you go for Chaos, Uranus, or Chronos(for greek mythology at least). Then again, Poseidon is a goddess, so maybe that would be too much. The pantheon of the MGE is really vague.

>>68491 please stop over-rubbing your kikis they are becoming too powerful

>>68495 I can tell exactly where these kikis have been rubbed and I can't blame their husbands at all. It's a vicious cycle.

>>68494 I specifically used Titans because they were the predecessors to the Gods and aren't nearly as abstract ( for the most part ) as the Cthonic Gods or even the primordial originator like Chaos. Cronus isn't Chronos, either. One is more or less a God of agricultural knowledge and the other is the divine personification of Time.

>>68495 kiki cleavage scent is probably heavenly, it would take only 1 heaving tiddy tease/slip to instantly crater my values into maid fucking

>>68497 >Cronus isn't Chronos, either. If the greeks couldn't tell them apart, i sure as hell don't have to.

>>68497 Man, fuck you. I was doing something important and you made me go on this hour long distracting tangent just to find out it's not even a confusion but a conscious decision of the stoics "because if the names sound similar, they must be the same then" which is somehow even worse.

>>68501 >The vote to execute Socrates had a greater margin than the one to convict him >>68500 Also it's pretty amusing to me there's like, four Greek Gods as part of the greater pantheon in MGE even if KC used the name Bacchus over Dionysus. It's highly amusing to think of Eros' father being some mad lad who managed to woo Ares of all Goddesses.

>>68472 It is for me!

>>68475 I too am in this thread.

>>68502 Kind of strange, with deities in MGE being female by default, that the goddess of love is named after male Eros when there's the obvious choice of Aphrodite/Venus.

>>68505 Eros has this varying interpretation, going from primordial god to son of Aphrodite and Ares. I think KC took him because his name is synonymous with the kind of erotic (for lack of a better word) love he portrays in his work. Or maybe it has something to do with the type of media that KC knows mentioning Eros and not Aphrodite.

>>68495 Never, I'm going to praise my maid and give her rubs! All the praise! All the rubs! She will judgement dust the house.

>>68505 >>68506 I am likely overthinking it but part of me thinks that the major distinction here is that Eros is the God of Erotic Love, which is focused primarily on the emotional, whereas Mara being an Asura in some iterations is more focused entirely on the physicality of it all.

>>68506 Probably because of the several different kinds of love eros is specifically the romantic type of love

What do you call a shopkeeper that is only open on a full moon? A warewolf.

>>68510 Shut the fuck up Charon

STR, INT or DEX?

>>68508 >Mara being an Asura That's something else entirely. Anon was asking why not take Aphrodite who is from the same mythology and female.

>>68512 A good party needs all three.

>>68508 i just figured he knew about the aphrodite / ares/ hephaestus thing and decided she sucks. of course, there's plenty of other examples to pick of greek gods sucking so probably not

>>68515 Except for Poseidon in MGE. Ocean Ma'am take me by the hand lead to me to the land

>>68389 Prime yeti bait

>>68517 Or kots, or bugs, or kotbugs, or bugkots, or sneks, or snekbugs, or snekkots, or kotsneks, or bugsneks, or cows, or cowsneks, or cowbugs, or cowkots, or...

>>68518 >cowbugs Elaborate.

>>68520 That's a demon.

>>68512 STR cowgirl INT anal DEX missionary

>>68522 Anal is not a position.

>>68521 It is clearly spider-cow

>>68512 Miss dragon is both the strongest and the smartest.

>>68525 I agree.

>>68524 Did somebody say SPIDER COW?

Yeah baph/lim your magic is cool and amazing and all and you can teleport shit and whatever great but, watch this, and you tell me who’s the master of magic! so in front of me are 52 cards…

>>68529 You have intrigued the wurm. Please continue!

>>68530 A wurm? And she’s pulled a bunny from a hat? Oh. Oh wow… that’s a tough act to follow. I’m going to have to pull out the >Mindfreak For this.

>>68531 Water tank tricks are a lot less impressive when there's a sea bishop in the audience

>>68533 >Anons “magic” trick is spiced up for monster audiences when some trickster teleports a horny nereid into his water tank with actual magic

There is a skeleton girl, a blood-slime and a ghost-alp inside you right now.

>>68535 Are you telling me to go fuck myself?

Hellhounds are easily fooled by magic. A ball/shell and 3 cups is all you need to distract one. Heck, even a ball will do if you can sleight of hand it away.

>>68471 It feels very Noir. I like it. The set up is a good slow burn, and I like the foreshadowing in the dreams, a real good show-don't tell sort of scenario. Though personally it is a little heavy on the anti-religion bent. But this absolutely could do with a part 2, letting you flesh out a lot of those ideas you teased that didn't really have much room to develop. All in all breddy gud.

Big Koturday.

>>68539 Anal caturday

Chad koturday

thread seems slow today

>>68542 The Americans are asleep and the Euros are just waking up. In the meantime, here's a picture of a kot.

>>68543 Interkotinental Catlistic Missile?

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread. Instead, remember that doing good deeds for the smol bugs means you are more likely to get the attention of the queen! Or her daughter Or you just end up swarmed by the small bugs for helping them out so much.

>>68545 Oh no!

You've been isekai'd into the mist continent and the Lilim who did it gave you exactly one ticket for a fateful encounter. Do you shack up with an old Ryu, locked up in seclusion studying her martial arts? Do you go to Mount Hua with the elves and the cherry blossom dryads meditating on their sword play? Do you go to Mount Wudang and study the Taiji with Hakus and Tengu? Or do you go the way of the Heavenly Demonic cult, and throw your lot in with the cursed swords and the fallen angels and priests and the redcaps and hone your demonic urges?

>>68547 The Ryu? Don't you mean the Lightning Wurm?

>>68547 wander the woods for undead beetles

>>68548 No, the Lightning wurm and the raiju and the zap weasels all hang out at the Namgoon clan

>>68489 No need to tell them

>>68547 >exactly one ticket for a fateful encounter. Easy. >Cross paths with a Jiangshi Martial Artist scorned killed by her former dojo master >Make underworld/undead connections in her quest for revenge >Ultimately gain power in the underworld >Then, the true plan begins >You tell her the stories of Bloodsport and Enter the Dragon >Become Tournament hosts >??? >Profit

>>68547 >Haku presented There was no other choice. Tengu are alright too.

>>68547 >mist continent with no panda option what is this bullshit

>>68554 Pandas are shaolin/beggar union

>>68547 What's a ticket for a fateful encounter?

>>68556 Things like you accidentally save the daughter of the sect leader of a certain place, or you stumble into the tomb of a hidden master and their spirit passes on their super special martial art, but ends up taking in your SE while you train and comes back to life as an undead to stay as your master, or you're born in the body of the heir of the demonic sect and you actually have a soul-mate bond with the reincarnation of the previous leader, that sort of thing.

>>68557 Can I just spend it on an Eros-core instead?

>>68558 Eros core is the local leader of the Hao sect.

>>68559 >Hao sect What's that?

>>68560 They're the whores/gamblers/muscle/broker sect. Basically they're the mafia.

>>68555 ah, yes, the clans of beggars that are secretly martial artists, that report on foreign "invaders" (husband candidates), ingenious, the perfect cover for diplomats. That random cloaked figure some thugs on the road try to mess with during your travels could actually be a muscly pandagirl with wuxia tier polearm skills ready to lay the smackdown.

>>68561 That doesn't look good, why an Eros priestess would become the leader of such a rotten sect?

>>68563 Who more benevolent to guide such "rotten" people? MGs always make brothels, they actually fit the "whore sect" archetype really well, it's loosely confederated so "whores" can come ago so it's perfect for MGs to moonlight as courtesans until they find a man they like. I always wonder about KC's brothels and the logistics. Surely losing a girl with every single customer is a busted ass business model. How can that even function? Does he ever address this? I guess it's more like a schoolhouse than a whore house, maybe what the madams actually do is take wilder MGs and train them to be housewives.

>>68564 >Eroscore training rejects into housewife a la babayaga >Still waiting for her husband after years of service Ok, I know hot to burn my ticket, thanks anon

>>68565 Is she awkward when it comes to her own heart, or has she just been stoically waiting for the right moment?

>>68567 I would prefer awkwardness, despite guiding so many she scared of not applying her own lessons correctly. Nothing that love and positive reaffirming can't fix On the other hand a pure stoic stands would be new and unusual but would it be enjoyable? Maybe I just have a hard time imagining how it would be.

>>68562 probably better if the one getting harrassed on the journey is (you) so that the mysterious beggar in rags is the one doing the protecting, so that they can court you in disguise whenever you reach town and just so happen to be a similar looking panda every time. After all, who would expect a panda to be doing all that, even if they are almost as strong as a jinko?

>>68568 Yeah, I can imagine her guiding so many others to successful relationships, only to spill spaghetti because she can't handle her own heart.

>>68562 You jest but the beggars guild was a recognized political entity Anyways, bring me to ushiville

>>68542 >this >slow wew, I remember when in the early months of migration slow meant several hours gap between posts in the deadzone between europoor and amerilard timezones

>>68573 All things are relative.

>>68574 Just like your new gf! Blood-relative, even!

>>68512 >fox >DEX She looks like she escaped a retirement home for this pic

Dangerous cats

>>68578 Are those chains on the bra or are they connected to her tits?

>>68512 the quality build werewolf

>>68578 Most people underestimate the strengths of the average werecat

>>68580 No big swords on the wolf?

>>68578 spiky tongue blowjob torture...

>>68583 It's called purrjob and it will feel great, that's not torture

>>68575 I want to have a holstaur mom who starts forbidding me from dating because she is overprotective but gradually considers it cheating on her.

>>68582 it's a quality build. it can use anything my wife is a wolf with a big sword

Would you REALLY marry and have kids with someone who spends most of the day listening to "capuccino bombarillo AI slop brainrot compilation 8h" on loop?

>>68592 If she casually enjoys it then I would, otherwise 8 hours is far too much. But it is good to have a wife with a sense of humor unlike normies who are very picky with their comedy these days.

>>68591 Monsters stop drinking monster energy as soon as they get their hands on anon's monster.

>>68592 That would be the equivalent of a hag listing to bass boosted earrape Rickroll 8h on loop.

New comic Gaira will be out on the 25th https://x.com/ComicGaira/status/2009564009247502478

>>68596 Year of the hoss.

>>68596 That is the most /fa/ horse I've ever seen

>>68598 Eh, the horse part is very undecorated. Bicorns though? Now they know how to dress.

>>68575 Auntie needs to shave.

>>68600 Hi, Anon! It sounds like you're in DESPERATE need of getting the fuck out of my thread and staying fucked off for ever. <3 <3 <3!

>>68601 >my thread

>>68601 >my thread No, this is her swamp now

>>68603 This ogre is both repelling and appealing. I can feel a strong conquering drive for her swamp.

>>68547 OK, real talk--where are the spooders? I would like a fateful spooder encounter, ideally where I accidentally walk into a big spooder's big web and struggle pathetically to escape. Also the spooder has big boobies and is mean to me.

>>68601 Clean shaved and properly sanitary monsters that take care of their hygiene are far superior

>>68547 I'll take the "clueless tourist visits the local fox shrine and uses its sacred offering table to tie his shoelaces" ticket, thank you very much.

>>68605 Spooders and Oomukade are in the Tang clan, studying aphrodisiacs alongside cyclops and dwarves studying mettalurgy and engineering. I never actually understood how those were related outside of maybe the root there being chemistry?

>>68608 What is there to study about aphrodisiacs if one bite of an Oomukade sends you into a paralized horny stupor that lasts hours?

>>68609 Why, of course, how to send one into a paralyzed and also hallucinogenic horny stupor that lasts for days. Or how to obtain the fabled poison body, where one's sweat and blood also become poison, or how to divise a poison so potent even a noble swordmaster who could shake an era would be reduced to a mere female in heat.

>>68607 Mist continent really has nothing to do with foxes. I wonder why.

>>68611 It has its own kind of foxes and they are malicious or rather, "malicious" actually I had zipangu and mist continent mixed up when reading the original post, I'm that much of a clueless white tourist

>>68612 >It has its own kind of foxes A-anon, you're not confusing mist continent with korean kumiho are you?

>>68613 >In the uncivilized "Mist Continent," it is said that kyuubi-no-kitsune rule and a devilish paradise that we can say is truly debaucherous is spreading, where humans and monsters are consumed with thoughts of having sex according to their desires, they can enjoy pleasure and copulation all day every day whether awake or sleeping. No, I stand corrected. Interesting, I think he lumped the peninsula in with the mainland.

>>68613 Inari are the waifu shrine maiden foxes present in jap culture Youko are the manipulative chink foxes, look up the legend of Daji Kumiho would [REDACTED]

>>68615 A REAL MAN lets his wife crudely remove large portions of his liver for consuming raw.

>>68616 No anon, a mamono would be horrified by your idea, even the evil ones

>>68610 >the fabled poison body, where one's sweat and blood also become poison I don't know about blood, but Oomukade do have poison glands all over their skin. They are both venomous and poisonous(like a lot of IRL centipedes). Now Oomukade monsterization would be an interesting topic. The poison is not directly described as being corrupting in nature despite being so strong. I wonder if it's implied by how mamono mana works, or if there is something that the monsterizing species have that the non monsterizing don't. Like large mice can monsterize people, but a venom injecting centipede has no mention of it in the profile.

>>68617 >even the evil ones I don't think you know what evil means.

>>68615 >Daji Huh, fascinating read, I had no idea such a figure ever existed. Why don't they come up more in contemporary literature? Then again, it's not like Helen of troy is being constantly referenced in modern media either.

>>68606 Correct, but the monsters that don't have the problem to begin with are the most superior.

>>68619 mamonos evil is not real evil

>>68617 C'mon, man. Lemme have a horrible monster fox wife who does unspeakable things to me.

>>68621 The Sabbath keeps winning

>>68623 You really want to get cut open and ripped apart for your liver.?

>>68625 I assume it'd be demon silver style nonsense, but yeah, why not?

>>68618 >The Ancient forbidden practice of Gu Poison >Put a bunch of Oomukade together in a steamy hot tub and make them bite each other and the one left standing absorbs the poison energy of all the others (they slowly recover) and becomes the oomukade potent enough to kill (make incredibly horny) a dragon. You ever look into something blatantly dangerous and wonder what it would be like to slip and fall in? I kinda want to enter the 'mukade hot tub

>>68620 >Here's your Daji, bro

>>68628 She looks like she needs a bath

>>68626 >>68625 I think if we can have a redcap that slices and dices you, we can probably have a kumiho that gores into your chest and gets sticky red spirit energy smeared all over her face and tits. The real question is what's the point? There's no value in it any more, and all they want is SE. The liver doesn't make SE, something else does, and is that really something you want her taking a "chomp" out of?

>>68617 Shog will remove your liver but she'll put it back after she's finished cleaning it.

>>68630 It could work. Post-mamonofication Kumihos are still cursed with need to consume human liver, but mamonomana allows for a more... sustainable way by digging into the spiritual layer with spectral claws instead of consuming flesh and of course it makes the guy cum his brains out in the process. Basically gook Wights.

>>68632 >curse was it a curse? I thought it was just a preference.

>>68631 That's very kind, does it also cleanse it from booze abuse?

>>68547 I'm going the Path of Arcano-Science like a proper white man would, invent a spacetime-hop machine, and get the fuck out of this Oriental shithole and go back to Monsterized America, to enjoy my monster realm pig burgers, pizza with holstaur-milk cheese, tall and toned dragon beauties, and unregistered doomsday ray-guns.

Cringe golem. A golem comprised of corporeal cringe.

>>68636 Anon, for the LAST TIME, that is a Cheshire.

>>68637 You're not a good man, anon

>>68638 She's old and busted, only knows outdated millenial memes and is full of L rizz in general. Pyrows are the new hotness, deal with it.

>>68627 They advertize that for 20 monbucks an hour on the MGC red district these days.

>Goth Living armour >Nazgul GF

>>68564 I’m going to go out on a limb and say they don’t operate much in the traditional way you would expect a brothel from earth to. Courtesan mamono would largely be able to select their own clientele at their discretion ( their fated partners ) and when it isn’t being used as a way to separate men from bachelorhood they function similarly to a bridal boarding house or school, as it were. So rather than them simply existing in the status quo they are learning the arts of cooking meals, sewing, of tea ceremony, of music, art, writing poetry, of theatre. All of the things that would make spending time with them desirable if they so choose it. Meanwhile the business could make coin by selling goods like the Arachne silk from Jurōgumō or fine hair products made by Kejōrō ( seeing as headcanon would be they would pioneer such things ). Anyway I’m tired and rambling, so do what you will.

>>68639 >I used to be with it, then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

>>68643 >Understand nothing >Still want to fugg the cat I'm cooked

>>68642 >they function similarly to a bridal boarding house or school, as it were Yeah, I think I like this idea the most. The girls aren't "open" to the public, they just perform and hang out all night and learn arts and crafts as wives and entertainers, earning money and enthralling men from a distance. I can't help but imagine a very oriental brothel, unlike the west, where eastern courtesans would perform in large dance troupes backed by full bands. The more girls on stage, the more likely once will land a boy in the crowd.

>>68619 Mamono evil is going <bwahahaha, soon my devilish plan to steal anon's heart by cooking him homemade bento shall come to fruition! he'll be steamily loving me beneath the moonlight before a fortnight! Malef's and apophises just want more people to have more sex.

>>68644 Shush, now, Anon. It'll all be over soon.

>>68647 I love that green, it's the only one I saved on several devices just in case

>>68645 We had that too in the west. It was called a cabaret.

>>68649 This is MY favorite green!

>>68361 Humans don't like their rat cousins, they think cats are more fuzzy and exotic

>>68621 >>68624 Monsters with shiny skin or oiled up monsters are the best, specially if they are little girls

>>68576 Obviously, look at the number of tails

>>68669 Troll holes have a fragrance that drives men wild.

I dunno what you're all talking about, because I'm not a strong reader. Do monster girls like boy butts?

:Trade Offer: I get : You You get : Me, all the lands east of the Glimmerweald, west of the Dew-barrows, up to the foot of the ice spires to the north and south the the shimmering shore, with an alloted portion of the produce annually fished thereupon.

>>68677 They sure do. Whether they'll be kicking your ass, licking it, groping it, kissing it, spanking it, hitting it with a whip or just enjoying their company with the guy attached to it (that's you), they love asses.

>>68678 How many ryo* is their annual yield? *tl. note: 1 ryo is approximately 1 koku of rice

>>68683 >Casual sex is common

>>68684 7.5 li or roughly 1 po

>>68687 >Now he's trying to pass it off as a "debate" rather than blatant shitposting being told to fuck off Leave

>>68678 Denied. What the fuck am I going to do with all that land?.. Besides, how am I going to make some trespasser who's like 500 miles away from me GET OFF MY LAWN if my hunting rifle's maximum shooting distance is 2800ft?

>>68688 >shitting up the thread with irrelevant debates >telling ME to leave for not wanting to watch a bunch of morons vs. a bunch of morons have these noxious discussions

>>68678 I don’t care who the tree huggers send I’m not paying my cum tax.

>>68689 Elven spirit bows and demon silver arrows have perfect LoS range. But that's besides the point, your wife has a PMC under her name enforcing tithes for any production on the land. Also, as you'll see from this criminal scum here >>68691, there is a lawful and legitimate cum tax. Some men try to evade. You don't evade an elven ranger.

>>68689 Your gun wouldn't hurt most monsters anyhow unless you were shooting ensorcelled bullets Just accept rent from the weirdos

>>68684 >>68686 The Elves REFUSE to use the metric system

>>68692 WEEP YOU ELVES, MY PENIS HAS GIVEN YOU UP. IT NOW ONLY PENETRATES WEREWOLVES FROM BEHIND.

>>68694 You don't need a metric system when any one with a brain can intuitively understand how 1 blade (of crass) converts into branches and hare-leaps. It's 17 blades to a branch and 3.2 branches to a hare-leap. The conversion of hare-leaps into lembas is similarly easy, but first you have to convert into root-length

>>68692 Wait, so she's like a robber-baron? >>68693 I'm not hurting them 'cause I'm using monster-magic enchanted bullets. Besides, is she an MGE elf? If yes, then I'm not marrying her, anyway. She's a tsundere. I don't like tsundere.

>>68696 >The important thing is, she tied an onion to her belt - which was the style at the time - and took the ferry to Morganaville - which is what they called Shelatessanëan at the time. The ferry cost a nickle, which had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, they'd say. Elf nonsense.

>>68697 >Wait, so she's like a robber-baron? She probably has a high elven queen, but is more or less lady of her own lands. I didn't mean to imply the pmc was illicit. >Besides, is she an MGE elf? If yes, then I'm not marrying her, anyway. She's a tsundere. I don't like tsundere. Is tsundere a species now?

>>68697 got to sort out whether you're dealing with elf or elf(monster)

>>68699 >probably has a high elven queen Ewwwwww get that THING away from me. Regular elves score high enough on tsundere scale. An elf who is ALSO the queen would likely have her haughtysnob levels at >=3.8*10^7, which is FAR above the lethal dose of tsundere bullshit.

Repent? Rodent!

>>68702 Send the kot after them! Stupid rats hiding in the church's walls.

>>68704 >you send a kitten to hunt down that stupid rat >the kitten's name is Garfield >she actually strikes a deal with the rat and lets her steal your peanut cookies while you're definitely not watching

>>68705 Skill issue, choose a better kot

>>68706 >Oolak... She keeps looking at me and saying this, is she a better kot?

>>68702 What do they worship at rurch(rat church)?

>>68708 The rat goddess. And cum. Mostly cum

>>68707 I hope they're a lot of rats in your walls.

>>68709 What are the tenets of the rat goddess? Aside from eating cheese.

>>68712 The biggest rat makes the rules

>>68712 something about fruitful multiplying

>>68714 >maid mouse fun fact,mice are ocd and obsessively clean and groom themselves

>>68716 do you think she went to "MAID academy" TM and was having classes with kikimoras?

>>68715 >warhammer aislop can we not burn down the thread FOR FIVE MINUTES?

>>68702 despite all her rage she is still just a rat in a cage

>>68717 Do you think that Baba Yaga gives out 2 ratto meidos at once because smol?

>hear scratching and squeaking >go take a look >see a small, lone mouse huddled in the corner, cold and terrified >giver her a carrot (mice dont actually like cheese) >tell her she can stay, but if she cant pay rent she will have to make up for it in other ways >a few months later >she's gotten a paid internship at meido academy >she attends their classes in her free time learn how to help out around the house better Im not saying put up with freeloaders but atleast give them a chance

>>68722 >giver her a carrot (mice dont actually like cheese) GO AND STAY GO

Would you want your mice or rat girl to be able to boggle, or would that be too creepy?

>>68714 Fruit multiplying? So the rat goddess is an agricultural deity then.

>>68722 >(mice dont actually like cheese) This is misinformation. Otherwise how do you explain THIS?

I'm going to feed them cheese American "cheese" ahahahahaha

>>68725 that does explain the milk

>>68722 >Lick the mouse If everything works out post-portal, I would already have a 3 kot (manti, chesh, 'yip) maids and 1 chief maid Kiki. I don't know if working here would be a good idea for her.

>>68727 It's the opposite. They are going to feed you actual cheese until you learn how to appreciate true beauty. Gouda, brie, blue, bergkäse, tilsiter, buttercheese. You are going to try every type of cheese under the sun.

>>68728 Listen, when they keep stealing my cheese they better expect me to spike it at some point. Now they will have to pay me back for every wheel stolen!

>>68728 Big milk and big cheese don't want you to know this, but mice and holsts have several dark trade deals.

>>68712 when the cat's away the mice will pray

>>68732 Real swiss cheese doesn't have holes in it, that's just the Ratfia taking their cut.

>>68735 The've even taken control of the police. Anons disappear in their territory and the MGC police doesn't do anything while the rat population keeps increasing.

This thread is way too cheesy. I'm returning to Home Base.

>>68737 >Crawl into covers with 'yip wife. >Pass out from the intense gasoline fumes

>>68738 That's the way I want to go out, I love the scent of gasoline

Why do duck harpies always become detectives? Because they are good at deDUCtion

>>68740 What do the Sexy Duck Harpy Knights of the Round Table say when they serve their king? "Yes, Mallard!

>>68740 Is this duck?

>>68737 Such an inviting sight, many kids will be made.

>>68741 Duck Knight from Berserk and his crazy Dark Mage gf

>>68744 why are all the dark mages crazy anyway?

>>68745 They live alone and most travelers are adults, not shotas.

>>68746 That can easily be fixed.

>>68747 I'd unironically not care if she wanted me to take a shota potion.

>>68748 >Guzzle down the shota potion >Dark mage who was looking forward to sneaking it into your food over the coming months starts to cry

>>68745 They read too many books.

>>68749 Tears of joy?

I saw an anime once with a shota vampire and his tall big titty wife, and the anime tried to make it haha funni he's a shota, but deep down even the anime itself knew that guy was winning in life. Or unlife, as it were. I think my ideal is still a beeg gf, but short of that I'll take a shota potion

>>68749 just drink random potions off her shelf, it can only end well

>>68753 >Anon the undead shota beastboy with THREE different animal penises >Plus a human penis >And cat ears >The cat ears are in the usual spot, not his penises >His VERY embarassed dark mage wife

I know that's just a shitpost, but has he even put out any permanent potions or have all the potions that have appeared in the world guides more or less been only temporary?

>>68755 There's the ones that make you a succubus / incubus that are permanent. Succubus Nostrum, I think? And the one you take that "kills" you so you can get brought back by your fancy new undead wife.

>>68755 there's the nostrums but i don't know if you count those as potions or not https://mgewiki.moe/index.php/Hel%27s_Nostrum https://mgewiki.moe/index.php/Succubus_Nostrum

>>68756 The pedo/megamorphosis potions are also probably permanent. I don't think witches need to drink potions every day to keep themselves normal.

This is a public service announcement: PLEASE stop letting the gyaru succubi feed on you. They are becoming too powerful. They recently entered the top 5 in terms of arcane might. They're having too much sex. Worse yet, theres something like 4 gyaru succubi for every man in MGC. Thank you.

>>68758 I think they're temporary, I think contracting with a baphomet probably solves that issue.

>>68758 the permanent ones are magic rituals. such potions, while plausible, are thread memes i think.

>>68759 I'll feed the gyaru centipedes instead. Not enough of those.

>>68473 I hope the music was enjoyable >>68493 I always felt a moth's potential dopiness comes from how "light drunk" they are. Some people just handle their liquor better than others. >>68538 Thanks, it was tough trying to balance out the small details I wanted versus making sure it stayed relatively coherent. Ultimately, that's why my 1960's story got temporarily shelved. After binging through The Mothman Prophecies (book, not movie), I had far too many story threads I wanted to flesh out, and not enough space to do so. Now that the contest entry is submitted, I'll probably start that back up and see if I can get it somewhere decent, even if it goes past 20k. >But this absolutely could do with a part 2 I do plan to do a lot more with the characters and the setting, though I don't know if I'll do another story from Harland's or his wife's perspective. In the meantime, if you like this, you should go read The Festival CYOA, it's in the same universe.

Heatstroke doesn't sound so bad now.

>>68763 I've been waiting for someone else to comment on the most recent events in that CYOA, shit got really weird lol

>>68765 i haven't spared any thoughts to ms satyros dooting on her horn. what a misstep i've made

>>68766 >Salphinx vs Satyros duelling blow-instruments

>"I thought you were supposed to all be little girls or something?" <"Well yeah but my mom drank a lot of megamorphosis potions when she was pregnant with me. I'm the reason they started putting warning labels on the bottles."

>>68765 >I've been waiting for someone else to comment on the most recent events in that CYOA As have I, but with it being updated Christmas week, I wanted to let it slide for a while til everyone gets back into their normal groove after the holiday season. >shit got really weird lol Oh, it might get a lot weirder as time rolls on. Nothing that Anon won't be able to solve, though. I still highly recommend re-reading previous parts for a little more clarification on our current situation. Symbolism is kinda big, lol

FIVE MILLION MEOWS

>>68770 We need mamono control to take care care of all these moaning cats at night.

>>68771 The solution is a husband but it creates more cats, more meows, more husband, etc.

>>68772 What if we gave all the kots the ability to breathe underwater, and then just let them hunt fishos far away from us?

>>68773 But I like cats

>>68772 The solution is government sponsored pocket realms and noise dampening walls.

Dead hours.

>>68776 Thinking 'bout them Amazons

>>68776 My favourite

>>68746 What a fucked up world

>>68777 What would the amazons do after finding out we have a whole forest named after them?

>>68780 Claim it for themselves I guess. No more deforestation, I can tell you that much.

>>68781 But we needs to deforest it to produce more

>>68782 From now on the only line of production is going to be reproduction

Tan amazon rainforest dryads

>>68780 They'll seek out the minimal contact and uncontacted tribal folk that live in the Amazon, and this is for multiple reasons 1. Looking for mates, naturally 2. The above wil also determine which tribes are considered friendly, or not 3. To learn about the local flora and fauna of the region from said friendly tribes. Naturally, this is for conservation, medical, and subsistence reasons.

>>68783 But think about the shareholders, we need to sell more slop

>>68785 Aren't those tribes violent retards?

>>68784 What about them?

>>68787 So is the Order, and that hasn't stopped mamono yet.

>>68789 The order is civilised, they're violent but not retarded, mostly

>>68788 Require breeding to reforest the jungle. ...they also have big bunda.

>>68790 >they're violent but not retarded >yeah dude, this giant rapedog? Yeah, i can defeat her totally >gets raped

>>68791 Anon will soon learn that dryads have a different meaning for carnaval.

>>68787 Depends on the tribe, that's why I said they'd determine which folk are friendly or not, based on interaction. I could see them, and the Ocelomeh, getting along pretty well with the Matsés folk. Moreso if the Amazons and Ocelomeh have their pineal glands as wide open as the Matsés do, that would mean a hell of a lot less potential miscommunication. Look up Loren McIntyre's experience with them, it's quite a fascinating story.

Order are known weresheep fuckers.

>>68792 He would be right if mamono didn't power creep to godlike beings of love. It worked before the current demon lord after all.

>>68790 >but not retarded Didn't those dipshits sentence one of their best navy admirals to death for bogus reasons? I mean I get that politics is a thing IRL too, but they should have higher ranks making sure they don't fucking purge their competent military commanders for political bullshit, that's how you lose wars

>>68797 Anon is silly. The order is purposely designed to be as stupid as possible.

>>68792 seems like a solid plan all in all

>>68797 >>68798 So, similar to Stalin-era USSR. Honestly, I can't blame The Order for their paranoia. It's a McCarthy response.

The order's best admiral would be happier as a kraken's daki

>>68798 frequent scouting of monster territory with 1 dude and several sexually frustrated women never fails and we should stick to the plan

>>68801 Instead he's 6 feets under. never become the best if you want to fuck monsters

>>68801 I would be happier as Druellas Daki.

>>68803 THE Hero was the best and he's out there fucking the baddiest of them all.

>>68803 >6 feets under Kamaitachi foot worship?

What would fix you?

>>68803 No, he's sleeping with the fishes actually. I forgot his name so someone else please link the side story I'm talking about.

>>68805 Exception confirming the rule

>>68807 think a werewolf pack or cow herd would do it

>>68812 Now that's lovely.

>>68807 A Shoggoth that would heal all of my chronic diseases

>>68807 Is it directed to someone or generally?

>>68814 Should have looked at the tags, dang it.

>>68807 An ancient evil

>>68807 A hug from a succubus telling me that it's going to be alright

>>68807 Big succ to welcome me home after a long week at work and give me sweet dreams

>>68807 Don't know anymore but I don't think that a wife can fix everything, mamono or not

>>68807 I'm fine, it's the rest of the world that's broken.

>>68821 Good grief!

>>68807 by hugging and fugging a cute hebi

>>68821 That's what Flayer-san is for.

>>68825 I don't like her as a wife but I would go see her as a medical professional once married or before if fate protects

>>68821 advances in cow science have refuted these claims

>>68818 I'm glad to see Sesso-Sheki's fracturing is still fresh in Anon's mind.

>>68827 Meh, maybe if it's big cat with bit tats

>>68829 I prefer my cats with un-bit tats.

>>68828 Why would you be happy about it? Your post reeks of fried tofu.

>>68829 Big tats* >>68830 While optional, unsmoothing my brain would be a nice side quest for her

>>68831 >Why would you be happy about it? Creative purposes. Hard to reference something if the viewer is in the dark about it.

>>68833 Yeah yeah, you are in bed with big mofu, aren't you?

>>68834 No, that would be Gennō. Or whoever he's reincarnated as this time around.

>>68834 it's important to sleep comfortably

>>68834 I wish I was in bed with mofu right now.

>>68837 many do, even if they don't know it yet

You know, abyssals actually are the most consentpilled of all monsters. They will rape, but only if you need it. Matters of life and death, and all that. Otherwise, they're very kind.

>>68839 >medically necessary rape many such cases

>>68840 >medically necessary rape Where do i sign up?

>>68840 Also known as "sexual emergency"

>>68824 I want a hebi to squeeze me with her tail till I pass out.

>>68839 I was about to schizoid post on this, but I don't think it would land in this case. Anyway, yes, they've seen things most other monsters would be unable to fathom. Of course they're going to treat Anon like fragile glass, as only a delicate touch can soothe a fractured psyche.

You know who isn’t delicate? You know who is hard as nails? You know who is rough and tumble and cooler than you? Weresheep.

On second thought, I found a better psychiatrist and she won't prescribe me meds

>>68845 Weresheep are tough until you get the sheers out.

>>68846 She keeps turning up! I'm not crazy I tell you, it's the Cheshire cat! She's stalking me!

>>68847 then the phase 2 boss music kicks in

>>68849 Sheep don't get enough love.

>>68849 All the sheeplovers are too busy sleeping.

>>68849 What's the sleeping nuki for?

>>68853 Selling the cut weresheep wool and compensating Anon and his sheep wife monetarily in a fair manner relative to the work they do.

>>68849 THE BLACK SHEEP.

>>68853 she is mean to distress you with how comfortable she is

>>68854 Sounds like a haku advice, still a wise one. Will look into it

>>68856 BDSM sheep is weak to whippings.

Welsh hours

>>68860 It's an international phenomenon

>>68864 They look possessed.

>>68864 do not ask for whom the cowbell tolls

>>68865 It's what happens when you don't shear your sheep or milk your cows. Or if you shear your cows and milk your sheep.

>>68868 Can't you milk sheep and make cheese?

>>68869 you can do a lot of things to a sheep

>>68869 Yeah? And it's very risky.

>>68871 Risky? Why they don't like to be milked?

>>68850 i desire the jiggle sheep

>>68875 hey. you can't just turn a sheep into a fruit.

>>68876 the world could use some more unholy animal/plant fusions besides that one sea slug

>>68865 this is because theyve been possessed

>>68879 Possesed by who??

>>68879 hey. i dunno about cows, but you can't just possess a sheep.

>>68880 the cow is tripping because she saw red and the sheep joined in because it looked fun

>>68882 That's not possession. That's just normal behaviour. Now confess, are the devils enacting some kind of new corruption plan and doing tests on the outskirts of MGC, or did ghosts figure out how to possess mamono?

>>68881 try and stop me

>>68884 behold. the sheepdog. begone evildoer.

Can you believe some people don't think this is the peak of beauty?

>>68886 very easily

>>68887 Yeah, there will always be people who's taste is inferior, so it's not hard to believe that they wouldn't be able to appreciate a muse when they see one.

>be me (Anon Incognitus) >rumors going in the town, about some “monsters” roaming around or something >you laugh them in the FACE because I know monsters do not exist >amyways, I wanted to get outside tonight, to take a breather >my sister is trying to stop me, panicked over something <”Anon, you can’t go out at night, there’s a vampire around the town!” >you laugh at her warning “LOL what the fuck, vampires don’t exist. Haven’t you read the Official Science?” >you proudly get outside, but not before packing your magnum >I mean, better to have a gun and not need to use it, than to need to use it and not have one >you screw around the town until you run into a menacing woman dressed in all black <”Oh ho ho ho! A perfect servant-boy appears!” >you ask her what the fuck is she on about <”Well, you see, I’m from the high nobility, and I need somebody to take care of my snobby ass. And you’re just a commoner without any noble lineage or extraordinary wealth. Which means, you must serve me. Now follow me, servant.” >you laugh in her FACE and flip her off before turning away and continuing on your night stroll >she grabs you, lifts you off the ground and hauls you away from the town >you’re a little bit surprised, after all, you haven’t seen a woman that can fly >especially while carrying a guy <”OH HO HO HO HO the commoner thought he could defy me, well I’ll see how will you defy me in the bed! Hohohohohohoho!!!” >in the bed? Wait, does this chick want to… <”Oh dream on, servant! I absolutely can not sleep with the likes of you, you dirty filthy peasant! What I mean is that I am going to lay you down and then I’m going to suck your blood!!!” >wait, did she just say, suck your blood? >of course she did, dumbass >she arrives to what you assume to be her home, a huge mansion some mile and a half away from town that looks like it costs at least half a million credits >she flies straight into the bedroom window, and lays you on the bed >she readies her fangs, getting ready to suck >now is the time! >you pull out your revolver and point it at her “Suck on this, you vampire bitch.” >BLAM >she recoiled from you, letting you get up and re-orient yourself >wait, what the fuck, she doesn’t seem to be hurt <”Oh ho ho ho! The servant thinks he can hurt me with this pop-gun~?” >you blast her four more times, no effect except for a little jolt from the impact <”...Told you so. Now, lay down before you piss me off.” >uh oh >okay, now you’ve done it, Anon. RUN AWAY! >you manage to escape her, and that’s when you realized >you don’t know the layout of this mansion! >shit, this fucking sucks <”WHEEEEEEEERE ARE YOU SERVANT WHEN I FIND YOU YOU’RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!” >oh shit, if she finds you, this won’t be good at all >where to go where to go where to go… >oh, a window! “In case of emergency, break the glass…” >well, you’re in one hell of an emergency, so why not? >you yeet one of the expensive-looking vases into the window, breaking both into shit >well, you’re out of the mansion now, what are you gonna do? <”SERVAAAAANT---” >what are you gonna do? >call for help, of course! >no wait, can’t do that >if your sister hears that you’ve been attacked by a vampire, you’re in for SUCH a long lecture, you’d rather die from having your blood sucked >and judging by the vampire’s enraged shouts, you pretty much have this option on the list >okay, whatever, the standard option when you don’t have a backup plan >RUN AWAY! >you’re roughly one-third mile away from the town when you’re stopped by an ice-cold voice <”There you are.” >Oh I’m Boned.ogg >the vampire is right behind you, and she isn’t happy “Dammit lady, let me live! Go take Fred’s life instead. He’s a social democrat and he supports gun control!” <”What are you talking about, boy? I’m not going to kill you.” >...what? “Wait, weren’t you going to suck all my blood or something?” >she sighs and explains you the nature of vampires, and all monsters in general >oooh… >so she didn’t want to kill you all this time >instead, she wants to kidnap you, use you as blood-cattle, humiliate you physically and verbally and force you to serve her until your personality would be broken and you would turn into whatever she considers to be “a noble man fit to be her mate” >that’s sooooo much better >well, guess there’s that use for your last bullet >you take a good aim and blast her straight into the head >the vampire looks at you as if she just found the biggest dumbass in the world <”Seriously? You couldn’t do anything with those five bullets and you think you could do something now?” >well, you tried >just before she gets you again, a stream of fire scorches her ass >before you realize what’s happening, you’re being lifted into the air and hauled away >now you arrive into a mountain cave 150 miles away from town >as your captor lights the torches, you can see her better >it’s a dragon-girl, two heads taller than you, buff as hell >uh oh, getting kidnapped twice in a day does not mean anything good for you… >she carries you into her bedroom and puts you down on the bed >oh, shit… “Umm, lady, maybe you don’t suck my blood, okay? I taste awful…” >the dragon is staring at you as if you were the biggest dumbass ever <”Kid, what tells you I’m going to suck your blood?” “Well, the vampire lady did the same sequence of steps when she nabbed me, and when she laid me down on the bed, she said she’s gonna suck my blood and turn me into her slave…” >the dragon sighs <”Kid, it’s only vampires who suck your blood. And I’m a dragon. And what that means for you, is that I’m going to pin you down and rape you for several hours straight. Now, you have ten seconds to undress or I’ll rip your clothes apart and rape you.” >wh-whoa, now that sounds good! >you don’t manage to finish undressing, the dragon pins you down and rapes you >it feels absolutely amazing, and you’re completely exhausted by the end >now you’re married to a big badass dragon that will take the best care of you, and also will kick that vampire’s ass for trying to fuck you over

Goat's milk > Sheep's milk

>>68890 there's no milk in there